My theories of Love

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The Theory of Everything is an inspirational film. It inspires you to never allow anything to bog you down in your endeavors. But, the film is not so much about science as it is about love.

 The Theory of Everything helped prove some of my own theories. On love and relationships. Not that I have ANY credentials whatsoever to be commenting on love but here goes:  

 1) Love* triumphs everything. 
If you love each other, nothing can come in the way. Not poverty, not alcoholism, not distance, not personality differences, not physical disability, nothing. We fool ourselves in blaming such things for our break-ups. My theory is that the reason for wanting a break-up is simply an inadequate give and take of love. Because mutual love can triumph over any issue. 

2) Love* just happens. Hence, it is effortless.
You can not decide to love someone. Neither can you instruct someone to love you. My theory is that love* is inevitable and is effortless. (spoiler alert) We did not see Hawking's girlfriend doubt her choice even after she knew of the deadliness of his disease. And again, the other time when she had to decide whether to keep him alive. My theory is that it is love when you find putting in that effort, effortless.

 3) Change is inevitable. 
Things change with time but love* never goes away. If it goes away, my theory is that, there never was love. You just thought there was. But where there is love*, change causes people to succumb to affairs or even fall in love with other people. But my theory is that two people who have loved each other are always together... even if they are no longer together.

 4) Dishonesty is the opposite of love*
Every relationship is faced with unpleasant truths sooner or later. However, the truth alone can salvage love. Nothing damages love like dishonesty. My theory is that love* can be salvaged anytime with the truth, no matter how bitter it may be. Love can be salvaged, not necessarily the relationship. But love without the relationship is better than a loveless relationship. 

*Love: To me, love is deep mutual respect (in addition to that indescribable high we are all familiar with)
That is why, a believer of God and an atheist can love each other. My theory about what Love is, is that it is the ability to respect and root for the dreams and aspirations of the other, no matter how contradictory to yours they may be. And you root for them whether or not you are still together. And this happens effortlessly.

 Ok, all this talk about love is making me sick. ;p That's all folks!  :)

Comments

viplavi4shanti said…
Hmmmm....interesting. I think you are right...but in cases like alcoholism or drug abuse, the burden of love shouldn't fall on one person. It takes a village. I do think love can save people, but love shouldn't be an altar of self sacrifice. Self love is important too.
15 February 2015 at 19:48
viplavi4shanti said…
I'd also like to add that even if love is alive and well, in certain cases, such as addiction, the need for the substance can rule the roost. And what often manifests in love relationships which involve addiction, whether romantic or familial, is that the expression of love gets confused and becomes enabling. Because there is a sense of egolessness in love, the boundaries become confused. Enabling comes out of a desire to protect the beloved from the consequences of their behavior. But in my mind true love is wanting what is best for the beloved, which may not necessarily support what the beloved believes they want. In the case of addiction, wants and needs are hijacked by the substance which does all the talking. Love should always support both parties physical, mental, and emotional health and well being. Believe me, this is far from effortless! A lot of times in love, we get wholly caught up in the emotional aspect, which sometimes starts from a place of illness rather than health.
15 February 2015 at 20:00
Sudha said…
Like the old adage goes, "love is blind". When in love, it is an overpowering feeling and you succumb to it whole-heartedly with not a thought about future. Nothing else seems important but to be with the person you love. In some, with passage of time this chemistry will mature into something deeper, into true love people dream of, the kind of love that will triumph over any adversities, exactly as you said. When love is that deep, that complete, there is no place for self love. You care for the one you love much more than you care for yourself (exactly the kind of love parents feel for their offsprings) and you love without expectations. When both individuals love each other in this manner, then we have the eternal love that romantics dream of. But in case of the 'blind love' I mentioned earlier, sometimes when the physical attraction wears off the intensity of your feeling for the other also lessens and 'self' becomes more important. You may fail to fulfill each other's expectations, thus feeling dissatisfied and will have to decide whether to compromise or quit. There again, if there are children involved, couple may go with compromise because they will put children's welfare above their own needs.
15 February 2015 at 21:49
Ramesh said…
Love does not have feet that is why we cant listen when it comes to us....We can not hold it longer as it has wings to fly....we can not live with it as it lives in memories. I like your subject as it reminds me of one evening .
17 February 2015 at 13:57
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