The autorikshaw drivers of Mumbai

Wrote this 2 yrs ago but still holds relevance

Auto Rickshaw drivers. By my self-imposed standards I can’t afford to meet one everyday. I usually use the cheaper and faster means of transport – the local trains.
But then there are long days at the end of which all you want to do is jump on to something that will take you straight to your doorstep. Then there are days when you wake up feeling groggy and simply don’t have the energy to clamber on to a crowded train to get to office. On those days I get to interact with Autorikshaw drivers.
You can never allow your mind to wander off, not for one minute when alone on a rickshaw. Because they are reckless drivers and sworn to take you through the most complicated route possible. Of course, this maximizes chances of getting lost but then that’s the idea. This naturally is followed by constantly having to stop by passer-bys (they prefer the ignorant looking ones) for directions. Until they’re satisfied. Then they take you straight to your destination. By now, of course the meter displays an amount 3 times what it normally should take to get there.
Commuters are accustomed to this. When they don’t care about the money they just let the auto driver take his favourite course as long as they get you home. But when they do care they are on a constant watch out, “HELLO?!…. BHAI SAHAB!!!… yahan left lijiye…!”.(hello?! Mister!!! Take the left here!) And there are the poor souls like me who are ‘directionally’ challenged. In other words, I have to put in more than the normal amount of effort to remember directions.
So, on an auto I’m doomed. Even if I do manage to constantly point out the right directions to him, by the end of it I’m mentally exhausted.
Anyway, now after months of tracking the same route, it has got imprinted on my mind. I can afford to think about other things from time to time during the journey.
But my focus continues to be on the autorikshaw drivers. I find myself wondering, “is he feigning stupidity or am I being too harsh on the poor fellow?” They are irrepressibly irritating all the same. Sometimes they pretend to be deaf. They hear ‘Bandra’ as ‘Parla’. At other times they pretend they lack certain speech skills. They mumble something crucial. By the time you puzzle it out he’s already missed the fly-over.
But I occasionally meet the smart, sincere auto guy. They fill me with joy. Right from the time you tell them your destination they give you the feeling of being taken care of. They will ask you “’highway’ se ki ‘subway’ se?” (From the highway or through the subway?) If you can’t decide he’ll further help “subway mein traffic bohot hoga…” (There will be a lot of traffic in the subway…)

Often these pleasing set of auto rickshaw drivers provide you with interesting information on the way:

“Gadiyon ke beech mein 8 m ka faraq hona chahiye. Lekin aisa karo tho peeche se gaadi marti hai” (there should ideally be an 8 m gap between vehicles but if you maintain that the vehicle hits you from behind…)

“Yahan bheed hai kyunki aaj Saifee Trust Hospital inaugration hai…bohot bada hospital hai..pradhan mantri aa rahe hai” (the Saifee Trust Hsospital is being inaugurated today. That’s what the crowd has gathered for. The prime minister shall be attending)

“Mangal Pandey ka intezaar hai bas. Aamir ne badi mooch rakhi hai uske role ke liye” (I am just waiting for Mangal Pandey to release. Aamir khan has grown a big mustache for the role)

This other Rikshaw driver felt curious about how an ATM works. He did have an idea but wanted to clarify with me as I had asked him to wait while I withdrew money from my ATM.
It impresses me to see how the common man keeps himself abreast with information. So if you think about it, the auto`rikshaw driver is representative of people by and large – the stupid, the crafty, the sincere and the eager to know.