Seeing Things

I am 24 years old and one thing peculiar about me is that I want to do a lot of things in life. Meaning I am not able to focus on any one activity that I want to pursue. Probably, it is because I have no real talent. I can sing informally at a party. I can dance in a group. I write. I paint once in a while - whether they are good work is of course open to interpretation. Can’t say I set the sets on fire but I act, I model and I can walk the ramp. I can be a strategic planner. Why I say that I don’t have real talent is that I don’t excel at any of these things. The reason for that, as one wise, old sage (he’s only 30 but behaves like he is no less than a wise old sage) pointed out is that I am scatter brained. I don’t have the ability to focus on what I want. Well, that causes me to believe that I don’t know what I want in the first place. What I do know is that I love to dabble in ALL these things. And there is more I want to do! I want to learn Spanish... I want to learn to play the g...

People have always pointed out to me that I smile all the time. Two days ago a trainee in my office declared that he had come with a name for me – smiley queen. I had heard that before. There are others who call me smiley. My earliest memories of being told that I have a smiling face was when I was around 7 - I don’t remember. I’ve been trying to analyze this. Why do I keep smiling? I think it’s more of an involuntary action. Most of the time, I don’t realize that I’m smilinCome to think of it, perhaps various experiences during the course of my life reinstated this obviously pleasing habit. Another episode was when I went abroad for the first time in 2001. We landed in JFK airport and one of the first things I noticed at the airport besides all the white skin, blond hair and blue eyes was that everyone smiled at one another. One could argue that these smiles are superficial but they made me happy nonetheless. Once I read this ‘chicken soup for the soul’ type of story about how once a ...

Is worship your way of connecting to God or your way of feeling superior amongst fellow people? Let me tell you why this question rose in my mind. Yesterday, my uncle who came to town offered to take me to the temple. I love visiting places of worship. Not because God resides there but because peace and serenity live there. It has a calming effect and makes you think clearly. It helps you dispense negative feeling and leaves you purified. I have never interacted with God. I have no reason to place my faith in Him. I would rather credit these wonderful effects to the overall goodness that often exists amongst people within places of worship. Anyway, I happily agreed to join him to the temple. However, soon I got a call regarding an early morning assignment because of which I needed to cancel the plan. So when he called immediately after to give me directions, I politely tried to refuse. But his self-righteousness got the better of him. Foe some reason, he felt he had the right to overlo...

I’m not a typical lizard lover. I only find them the most tolerable of house insects/reptiles because they are considerate enough to stay on the ceiling or high up on walls. They don’t come in the way of regular human activity. My feeling for lizards is as distant as that. Yet, I managed to call one my pet. Notice how I say ‘call’ one my pet as opposed to make one my pet. I can’t imagine a lizard-man relationship grow any further than that. I can’t train it to fetch me stuff or shake hands with me. But there was something this lizard did for me. It killed cockroaches. I can’t stand cockroaches. I have not been able to or don’t want to understand the significance of the cockroach in maintaining ecological balance. I wish they just became extinct. I can’t look at a cockroach. I find it difficult to even kill them. Few will understand the mental torment I went through every time I saw one crawling in my house. I had read somewhere that one cockroach you see outside is indicative of a 100...

Recently one of my posts managed to churn out a lot of strong comments. The post was on my views about the comedian who lampooned Mahatma Gandhi and put it up on Utube for the world to see and laugh (!). All my posts so far dwell mostly on Indian sentiments (my immediate surrounding) but people across the globe spoke up on this one. I had broached upon something that is a universal, timeless concern across countries, religions, age-groups etc. I had attacked the freedom of speech. Nobody can deny the importance of freedom. Millions have and continue to martyr themselves for the cause. The lack of freedom has been grounds for divorce. Lack of freedom causes children to rebel. And yet, those who have it tend to take it completely for granted. They forget to take what comes with freedom - responsibility. Adolescents who start drugging, spouses who cheat, cartoonists that disregard religious sentiments, comedians that disregard nationalist sentiments etc are examples of people who misuse t...

Wrote this 2 yrs ago but still holds relevance Auto Rickshaw drivers. By my self-imposed standards I can’t afford to meet one everyday. I usually use the cheaper and faster means of transport – the local trains. But then there are long days at the end of which all you want to do is jump on to something that will take you straight to your doorstep. Then there are days when you wake up feeling groggy and simply don’t have the energy to clamber on to a crowded train to get to office. On those days I get to interact with Autorikshaw drivers. You can never allow your mind to wander off, not for one minute when alone on a rickshaw. Because they are reckless drivers and sworn to take you through the most complicated route possible. Of course, this maximizes chances of getting lost but then that’s the idea. This naturally is followed by constantly having to stop by passer-bys (they prefer the ignorant looking ones) for directions. Until they’re satisfied. Then they take you straight to your de...

As I sat surfing channels idly few days ago, I stopped at a visual I didn't want to believe. It was news of a man (of Indian origin) making a mockery of Mahatma Gandhi. Yes the news stated that the video had created a national outrage and that the maker was asked to make a public apology. But it worried me nonetheless. There are too many people in our country today who are ignorant (or have forgotten what they learnt in history lessons in school) about India's struggle for freedom. They don't know that this lanky, bald old man was named the "father of the nation”. Even if they did their limited minds don't feel curious as to why a weak-looking old man with scanty clothes would be given such a huge status. It worried me that such people may actually find this video extremely funny. They may watch it repeatedly and laugh repeatedly. That aside, here's the lensewiping part: I exclaimed to my friends that I could shoot Gautham Prasad (the guy who made the film) dea...