Seeing Things

Of what value are blessings?

2011-12-09T12:12:00.008+05:00

Even in the undignified, lowly act of begging, the beggars in Mumbai bring in the dignified act of applying thought. They constantly invent creative strategies to maximize earnings. Some of them are pure artists. And when a tactic completely loses impact they re-invent.

In the matter of giving alms, I am like almost everyone else. I sometime bother to dig into my coin pouch and pull out a coin to place in their bowl or hand. I don't bother at other times. It is totally random. I think it depends on my moods. When i am irritated, I nod my head. When I am in a good mood, I become generous. There are times when I am really hoping for something good to happen, then too I get generous - hoping, that in some cosmic way, my generosity to the beggar would convert into a generosity towards me by the forces.

One school of thought says that giving money to beggars encourages begging and that it prevents these people from looking for jobs. I never got that honestly. I don't think beggars choose begging as a career option. The people who actually partake in the act of begging are doing it out of compulsion. The compulsion of circumstances or the compulsion put on them by mafia (who have made a career out of making others beg money for them)

So, why am I thinking of beggars and begging today? Well, an unusual incident that happened to me this morning at Bandra station is the culprit. As my autorikshaw halted in front of Bandra station, a respectable looking but frail, old lady came up to the auto.She was about 5 foot tall. Thin. Her head was framed by a thick mop of grey hair parted in the center. She had a longish face and greying eyes. She had a good set of teeth. There was a quiver in her voice, the kind that comes into your voice when you have crossed a a certain age. The auto-driver looked at her and pointed to an empty auto nearby and asked her to take that one as he did not want to accept any passengers at the moment. But, it turned out, she was not really interested in boarding an auto. She was actually interested in me. She caught my eye and said "beta, thode paison se meri madad kar denge..ek chai peene ke liye paison se meri madad karengi?" (see translation below)

Don't ask me why but I wanted to give her Rs.10. even though a cup of tea on the street costs only Rs.2. But I did not have a Rs.10 note. So, I gave her a Rs. 5 coin. She took it closer to her eyes to look at the coin when I began to walk away. As I walked away, I had flashes of curiosity about who she was and if this was just a fantastic begging strategy. In any case, I couldn't help feeling an unbearable pang of feeling sorry for her state, especially considering how much she had aged. I turned to look at her. She stood there blessing me. Even as I walked away she spent some time to shower blessings on me.

It made me think why do beggars who are not children, always shower blessings on you when you give them something? Whether you are looking for it or not, they make it a point to shower blessings on you. It is because that is all they can give you in return for the money. It shows that even if you don't expect anything in return, they do want to pay you back.

Translation: daugther, (well, its common in India, to refer to strangers by a relationship that suits the age difference) could you please help me with a bit of money? could you help me with some money so that i could have a cup of tea?)

Temporary Insanity

2011-10-12T10:42:00.011+05:00

The Mumbai local train ticket-checkers have a very clever method of operation. I can't think of a better name for the method other than 'randomness'. On no, don't get fooled by the simplicity of the term. This is actually a very clever method. By ensuring that they don't fall into any pattern, they make it impossible for passengers to predict with enough accuracy whether or not there will be a ticket-check at a given time at a given station or in a given train bogey etc.

There is only one certainty that I have arrived at. The ticket checkers don't check during peak hours. Standing in the way of the ocean of people moving chaotically at a micro level but at a macro level, synchronously in one great mass, could be life-endangering. Now, that wouldn't be worth the fine collections. (pun intended)

So, often when regular passengers see that they have not been asked for tickets in like weeks, to save time rather than money, some choose to travel ticketless. It is these people who get caught when there is a ticket-check.

This morning there was a ticket-check at lower-parel station. I was witnessing one after a good 3 weeks or so. Thankfully i have taken a quarterly pass which is always there in my wallet, so I was safe. This ticker-checker was a short, frail man with a gaping, bandaged wound on one side of his forehead. He also had a very feeble voice. It sounded like the croak of a cricket. Something like that. Yes, I think its a fair description. Imagine a cricket saying "maam ticket please". Nobody really heard him. But from his gesture, we understood that he was a ticket checker. He kept stopping people by physically moving right to left and left to right to catch their attention. One woman missed him as she was busy on her mobile phone and passed by in a hurry. Now our ticket-checker smelled a rat. In one swift move he intercepted her movement just as she was a few steps beyond him. It was at this time I realized he had an unfortunate voice. He could not raise it. Maybe that's why he also nudged her elbow to ensure he got her attention and came back to his original position (where I stood with my pass waiting for him to see it so I could proceed). Now, this is when the fun began.

This woman turned around and spoke in a loud booming voice, "haath nahin lagane ka!". (don't you touch me!) I heard him say "cricket" i mean "ticket". I don't know if she heard him but she was on a full swing offensive now. "how dare you touch me?" followed by, "you only check women?" insinuating that he was a pervert. It was true that at the moment he had indeed only stopped a bunch of women. But then, there were only women passing by him that instant. We had all got off the ladies compartment and were heading out of the station in the same rhythmic haste to get to office on time. He looked at my ticket and gestured for me to carry on. While she dug into her bag for her ticket, that I surely hoped she had after the scene she was creating, she went on accusing him of touching her (elbow) and asking only women for tickets. I found it funny how he didn't offer any explanation. He just quietly carried on looking at the tickets of the various people whose attention he had caught.

I felt sorry for him. I thought she was casually misusing the rather serious issue of "sexual-harassment" to intimidate a frail, little man with a bandaged head and cricket voice. Maybe she had a fight with her husband in the morning. Maybe her rival in office had got a promotion. Maybe she really thought the ticket-checker was a pervert in need of being taught a lesson. Maybe she didn't have a ticket. Much as I was curious, I thought it would be impolite of me to stay and watch if she did produce a valid ticket. So, I left the scene lost in my own thoughts about the scene.

Something had made her angry and she started to act without convincing logic or reason. Her reaction was a little disproportionate. Anger indeed is temporary insanity.

Dil ek Shukriya

2011-10-10T14:42:00.008+05:00

Life comes with its sets of ups and downs. For example I am listening to sexy Cohen (Dance me to the end of love) right now. But, for some reason, the left ear of my head phone is defective. So I am hearing the serenade through just one ear and its diluting the experience a bit. See? Ups and down to the same situation right there! (and in case you are worried...my left ear is fine. I checked. It IS the headphone thats defective)

So, the learning that's working for me these days is that you need to always celebrate your blessings while accepting your share of the 'downs' gracefully. And also that you must not get carried away by either happiness or sorrow. Because they follow each other in an eternal cycle. Nothing is forever except this circle.

I just look at every situation under the "control" lens. (An old friend told me about this many years ago, but I am truely being able to put it in practice only now) Either things are in your control or they are not. If they are in your control then go ahead and do what you feel you must. But, if its not something you can control, then accept that and let go.

My truth is that life is a combination of what you make of it and what circumstances throw at you. You will try to control what is potentially controllable and you will accept as your destiny what is not in your control. The trick lies in the ability to make this distinction and act accordingly.

This new learning has taught me to be thankful.

Title acknowledgement: Thank you Meraj Hasan for letting me borrow from your scribblings.
Title translation: My heart is a big Thankyou.

Poetry and geography

2011-06-07T12:21:00.007+05:00

In India, we ape the west and refer to people we love as "sunshine".

Even though in reality we hate the sun. The sun is harsh in India. It causes our skin to brown more than it already is. We don't find a tan gorgeous. We find whiteness attractive - the whiter the better!! (i am talking of India as a community - not necessarily reflecting on personal preference here) The sun is not a reason for rejoicing. Sunrise - yes as it symbolizes the light after a period of darkness. But, the sun in the sky is hardly a cause of happiness and good cheer.

This explains why no regional poetry derives its inspiration from the sun - when it wants to describe a positive feeling. In fact some English songs we love to hum will not quite make the same sense in Indian languages. Let me list out a few:

1) Here comes the sun. tu ru ru ru ru - The Beatles
2) "the sun is shining everyday, clouds never get in the way for you and me"- "i love you", Martina Mcride (OST Runaway Bride)
3)You are the sunshine of my life - Stevie Wonder

Indian poetry, on the contrary has repeated reference of rain and shade to describe happiness, love, and sensuality. Believe it or not, in India we feel elated when we see grey clouds cover the skies.

Let me list out a few songs:

1) Kale megha (oh! grey clouds!!) - OST Lagaan
2) tumko dekha to yeh khayaal aaya, zindagi dhoop, tu ghana saaya (when i see you, the thought comes to my mind that this world is the sun and you are my shade) - OST Saath Saath
3)tip tip tip tip baarish ka yeh mausam shuru ho gaya (tiptiptiptip the rainy season has begun) - OST Afsaana Pyaar Ka
4)Boondon se baatein (talking to rain-drops) - OST Takshak

Okay, the list is pretty endless. You get the general idea. Having said this, let me point out that there do exist some exceptions:

1) Singing in the rain - is an English song and movie which celebrates well, singing in the rain
2) Tu dhoop hai, chan se bikhar (you are the sun, splash your rays out) - OST Taare Zameen Par. Here too however, the sun is being used as a metaphor for 'energy and light' rather than happiness or love.

Do share examples of songs of rain, sun and shade that come to your mind. Would love to re-visit/know about them.

Taking that first step

2011-03-30T15:06:00.008+05:00

Theater had been trying to seduce me since ever but I was afraid. I was afraid of making a fool of myself. I was afraid that when i would be asked to perform, i would just freeze and not be able to move a toe also. Something like that. My mind is capable of being really counter-productive sometimes.

Somewhere in August last year, it occurred to me, like a flash of lightening that the only thing that was stopping me from following my dreams was...wait for it... me. (yes i am a sitcom junkie) I was my only obstacle. My fear of the embarrassment of rejection/failure was all that was stopping me.

I told myself, "if you do get rejected, you would at least have the satisfaction of knowing for a fact that you did what you could" Also, in this new-found clarity of thought, I was able to see that all i really wanted was to act. Recognition for it would only be a bonus. Just to be immersed in the world of theater alone would make me really happy. This made me think of wholesome happiness. A subject I shall save for a different post.

So, equipped with this great new realization, I browsed the net, searched for theater workshops/classes etc. One thing led to another and I found myself safe and happy in the arms of my beloved. Somethings are just meant to be.

PS: I can't think of a nice enough title to this love story. Suggestions welcome.

PPS: Title acknowledgement: I'd like to thank Suchitra Ghosh for suggesting this lovely title.

N.M Joshi Marg

2010-12-16T17:30:00.010+05:00

Mumbai. You can live a 100 years in this city but it will still not cease to surprise you.

Have those of you, who are from Mumbai ever been to N.M Joshi Marg in Lower Parel? If you have, you too like every one else would have grumbled at having landed on that crammed little lane and probably made a mental note to avoid this lane in future. But, if you looked closely, you would have seen that this was not just another crowded Mumbai lane. Had you stopped to smell the flowers, or in this case the fish and the country liquor, you would have noticed that there is something special about N.M Joshi Marg.

I visit N.M Joshi Marg everyday. The entrance to my office compound is on this road. I am fortunate to have noticed something about this road. This stretch of about 1KM distance has everything. Really. EVERYTHING.

There are little saree shops, shoe shops, a tailor, medical clinics, pharmacies, groceries, a flour mill, a kabbadi vyayamshala(exercise place for Kabbadi players), residential complexes, commercial complexes, entrance exam coaching classes, fish market, country fowl market, deshi daru bar (country liquor bar), flower shops, cobblers, a school, an astrology shop, xerox booth, a PCO booth, a pest management shop, a temple, a jeweller, a local railway train station, street vendors selling sundry items like combs and twine thread and safety pins, vegetable vendors, cats, dogs, crows, kids playing toy cricket, men and women rushing to and from office, students mugging up for exams, little school children enthusiastically bidding each other farewell until the next day, retired gentlemen just lounging about, taxi stand, parking lot, tea booth, a restaurant....i am still certain I am missing out on somethings...

N.M Joshi Marg is truely one of a kind.

It is one of those roads that represents the heart of India. And the best part is nobody sees this. 1000's of people trot down or drive down this road every day, treating it like it is just another jam-packed Mumbai lane.

My verdict on the verdict

2010-10-01T13:38:00.009+05:00

I find the reaction of people around me rather interesting. Amusing even. Yesterday, when we were all worried about possible riots/violence on the streets, this one guy in my office went on saying to me "i am manase..so i am safe" (It took me a few moments to figure out ma-na-se is hindi/marathi for MNS - Maharashtra Navnirman Sena) His remarks made me realize that many people have ceased to (or never did) think about the right or wrong of things. They are only concerned about their own well-being basically. Understandable - it's the basic animal instinct in all of us.

I find others who are comparatively more human - those that prefer anything to avoid riots. If placating those that had assumed a ready-to-pounce position is the way to avoid violence and destruction, then so be it. Again they care little about the concept of justice and things.

Lastly, there are the thinking humans who fully understand the right and wrong of things. They feel miserable. Helplessly wishing they could change things.

There is also a fourth kind. These guys convert their feelings into action. But I haven't come across these people yet.

Anway, my point is that those of us Hindus who actually believe that the demolish was carried out to protect our sentiments are getting gravely fooled. I mean the mosque had been standing there for 500 years! Over 5 generations of Hindu's had been deriving satisfactory spiritualism/peace of mind/divinity from our Guruvayur,Vaishnodevi,Shabarimalas and Tirupati etc. The same number of generations had been placing their faith in Babri Masjid.

This whole demolish tamasha carried out to "safeguard" our sentiments! They must think we are really stupid! Come to think of it - we are!

And now, 18 years later, when the verdict comes out, I keep reading the phrase "the Ayodhya movement legitimized" in newspapers and it fills me up with an unpleasant feeling. By this logic, Buddhists must ambush and demolish all the temples that are built over their viharas. Right?

Wrong.

Found this article that appeared in The Hindu interesting

Also, here's an insightful blogpost on the subject and the CWG

P.S Let the brickbats begin..:)

Twenty Eight

2010-06-28T13:15:00.006+05:00

28. That’s today's date. But, more importantly that’s what I will turn tomorrow. What better time to return to the blog-world with a bang?

Inspired by a certain Miss Aurora Sky, I have decided to do an introspective piece to mark this special occasion in my life.

An irksome colleague succeeded in getting the better of me these last 2 weeks and I am ashamed of it. The outside world is always full of conflicts. But, it is very rare that the conflict effects my inside world. Usually, the words and actions that stem from the myopic do little to me other than make me pity them. But, this time, I found myself falling prey to emotions of distress and anxiety. Good thing my birthday came along and compelled me to do this introspection exercise.

The thing that caused the conflict in the outside world is stupid people, me included. But the things that caused the conflict inside my mind couldn’t be more insignificant compared to the things that really matter to me. That is why I am ashamed. I had lost sight. The things I pursue are far far more superior than what anyone can achieve via petty conflicts in office.

I want to be a good person. I want to spread good cheer. I want to laugh and make others laugh. I want to encourage peace of mind. I want to be helpful. I want to feel strongly but only for a worthwhile cause – the planet, hungry children, communal disharmony etc. This is what matters and I am not going to let corporate life come in the way of this goal.

Thankfully, so far, it is not corporate life that hindered my serene existence. It is one individual alone. The minute I looked at it like that, the crinkles on my forehead disappeared. I feel at peace again. I find it hilarious that I spent a few sleepless nights worrying over the misbehavior of one single individual. She is just an aberration. A tiny temporary aberration. And magically, the task of tackling the misconduct becomes a piece of cake.

Happy birthday Pooja. Here’s my gift to you – an imaginary placard to hold up to yourself in your mind always that says – “Remember what matters"

What will I remember?

2010-05-05T17:11:00.004+05:00

What will I remember, what will I forget?
What all do I want to keep, what all am I ready to let go?
Leaving is not easy, keeping is not easy.
But, nothing is for ever, I will have to let go.

With time memories will fade
The shape of this house, the name of my maid
The words that I learnt, the songs that I sang

But some memories will remain
The smiles and the kindness
The love and the innocence
The colour of the sea, the mist on the hills
The life under the surface of the sea,
The spots on the cheetah
The crow that visited me everyday on my balcony,
The green parrots that passed by morning and noon
The joy of live jazz and full-moon holidays.

You get to keep some
You end-up loosing some.

One more Idiot

2010-01-01T12:57:00.009+05:00

In India, the approach to 'studying' has many flaws. I will elucidate a few that 3 idiots points to:

Flaw number 1: Children are told that they must study well to earn well in future

Actually, what the child needs to be told is that we all study because it is the most fun thing to do - you learn about new things and studying increases your chances of getting what you want out of life.

Flaw number 2: In schools, teachers do often insist on following textbooks - blindly. They even "cut marks" if you miss out a word here or there or break the sequence etc thereby destroying creative and out of the box thinking

Flaw number 3: The whole learning process is restrained by schedules and discipline.

Flaw number 4: When they call it "extra co curricular activities" they mean extra. Singing, painting, acting, sports etc are strictly discouraged from becoming your mainstream activity.

Flaw number 5: Engineering, medicine and more recently an MBA are the ONLY way to prove your intelligence and general worth in society.

Flaw number 6: Students with the ability to learn things by heart have a sure-shot chance at being in the topper list, but this can't be said about a student who cares to understand things rather than learn them by heart.
Students should be tested on the ability to apply what they learn. Teachers should teach via applications and 'demos'

Flaw number 7: The more complicated it sounds, the more intelligent it is deemed to be. So, by default, everybody strives to keep things complex. those who crack the simplicity behind the complexity hide it for fear of diluting the "bigness" of the concept.

Corrective measures need to be taken and I applaud 3 Idiots for initiating the discussions.

However, unfortunately some aspects pull the movie down and deviate from the main subject:

1)The boys hostel humour was overdone to the extent of non-enjoyment. (There is only so much obnoxious back-sides one can watch in a single movie! And trying to mix this with an emotional scene, I think, was a bad idea)

2)The attempt to create another 'jaadu ki jappi' out of the 'aal izz well' line didn't work thanks to the overkill with the baby-kicking episode. (made me exclaim - "oh puhleeease!!!" out loud)

I loved the casting. Madhavan once again put up a good act, just like he did in Guru and Rang De Basanti. Sharman was adorable-funny as always. Aamir khan, enough is being said about him. The entire cast did justice to the film and I think the guy who played 'chatur' deserves a bravery award for agreeing to take on all the on-screen lampooning. :D

And so spoke the fourth idiot. :)

Dreaming my dreams in my dreams

2009-12-03T10:05:00.004+05:00

Able to Dream

The thing with dreams, I have come to learn, is that even if you know they may not come true,
It is a solace to still be able to dream.

But, when your dreams no longer realize - even in your dreams, thats when it means that something has gone wrong.

I dream my dreams in my dreams sometimes and wake up feeling dreamily happy.

Cheers to that! eh? :)

Soaking in the arts in Colombo and Kerala

2009-11-30T22:46:00.013+05:00

Kumbi Kathawa
Madilukal

Ottamtullal

Kathakali

I have been away from this space for long, but I have been using this time constructively.

Some of the cultural extravaganaza's I enjoyed in the last 2 months include Kumbi Kathawa or "the ant tale" - a Sinhalese musical performed by the Chitrasena Vajra Dance Foundation which through a children's story attempts to send out a message of mutual tolerance and forgiveness and sharing - powerful stuff; My first ever kathakali performance - 'narakasura vadham' organized by Margi in Trivandrum - another gripping performance; An Ottamtulal performance, which is a lesser known ancient dance form from Kerala which in laced with a sense of humour (just the way i like it) and a malayalam natakam (play), written by late Mr. Vaikom Basheer, a famous playwright known for fiercely sticking to his natural conversational style of writing. The nadakam I saw is called Madilugal (walls) - hair raising story and performance.

Good fun! At the end of it all, my knowledge of malayalam has been raised by a few notches and my appreciation for kerala art forms re-instilled. The sinhalese play too was a pleasant revelation.

Thank you Mahatma Gandhi

2009-10-02T14:07:00.003+06:00

Mankind has a lot to thank Mahatama Gandhi but I have my own, special reason to thank him for.

In 2000, I won a couple of beauty pageant titles. Miss Chennai being the grandest of them all.

Would you believe it if I told you that Mahatma Gandhi had a role to play in my first ever win of a beauty contest?

Well, those were the days when the notorious bandit Veerappan was still alive and causing havoc in the areas in and around the forests of Tamilnadu, Kerala and Karnataka. 2000 was the year he had kidnapped Kannada actor, Dr. Rajkumar.

When the local beauty pageant, Miss Adayar was being held in Chennai, the actor was still being held hostage somewhere in the dense forests where Veerapan had established his lair.

The question posed to me was ,"f you were sent, by the government, as a mercenary to Veerapan's camp in an attempt to free RajKumar, how would you go about it?"

A little heavy for a mere beauty pageant contestant, don't you think? But luckily for me, the answer came to me in a flash, thanks to my father's ideologies which shaped my thinking.

"I would take it as an oportunity to try out Gandhi Ji methods of truth, non-violence and fearlessness"

I won Miss Adayar that day, enabling me to participate in the Miss Chennai contest the following month and winning that too.

Today, 9 years since, I still believe that adopting Gandhian ideologies is the best way to bring about reform in the minds of people and society.

And on his birthday, as I sit and watch documentaries and movies made on him, trying to re-live the life and times of the Mahatma, I smile thinking about how his teachings made a difference to my life in ways both trivial and large.

Surprise in the sky

2009-09-01T15:09:00.007+06:00

Few days ago, I woke from an afternoon siesta. I yawned and stretched and thought to myself, "that was a nice nap". It was thanks to the sound of the falling rain that had lulled me to sleep. I stepped out into the balcony to get a glimpse of the rain-washed outside. I wanted to see the glossy roads, the dripping tiled roofs, the clean trees, a clear sky, perhaps with a few puffs of clouds hear and there.

But i was in for a delightful surprise! For this is what I saw.

My views on terrorism

2009-08-31T13:52:00.009+06:00

A misunderstanding has been reported from certain quarters about my views on terrorism. I "seem" to justify Islamic terrorism in India, but also condemn LTTE terrorism in Sri Lanka. This post is for those who may be interested in understanding my views better.

When I acknowledge the possible causes of terrorist activity, it does not mean that I justify it. I condemn violence. I do not approve of it no matter what the causes.

To avoid spurring terrorism it is necessary to have a clear understanding of why terrorists resort to terrorism. Only then can we avoid making mistakes whilst tackling it.

I disapprove of the majority community in a nation demanding or actively working towards establishing superiority because this makes minority groups insecure and possibly react in a rash manner. Meanwhile, I also disapprove of terrorists resorting to violence to get their way. I believe that violence can never lead to anything constructive.

So, whose side am I on. you ask? Well, I am not taking sides.

If I am talking to the terrorist, I say to him, "I think your methods are flawed"

If I am talking to the majority community in a nation, I say to them, "I think you must refrain from subjugating minority communities. it could cause them to flare up"

Do you find me confusing?

Idiom popularity poll

2009-07-28T10:55:00.010+06:00

Situated on the right is a poll that I am conducting, purely out of personal curiosity. Please be honest. In any case, I won't know who selected what. I will only know the percentage of people that select the various options.

Thanks for helping.

After voting, you can find more such cat-related idioms and find their meanings here.

Enjoy!

Man on the Moon

2009-07-20T14:56:00.006+06:00

Forty years have passed since that historic event. Made me think of this song by R.E.M. Had never really paid attention to the rest of the lyrics. All that got registered was this line:

"if you believe, they put a man on the moon"

I had only heard the song at pubs and discos. The radio perhaps.

So today I decided to listen to it properly on Youtube. I found this video which aptly has clips of man first setting foot on the moon.

I also read up the lyrics but honestly failed to understand it. I just get this line and think it's a lovely line. However, I read about the song on wikipedia and chanced upon some interesting facts about what the song really means. You too can read about it here.

Meanwhile, enjoy the song!

"ABVP + let off" on google search

2009-07-14T17:23:00.006+06:00

It's alarming, how ABVP, the student wing of the BJP go on carrying out criminal offenses and then get let off, free of charge.

I wanted to specifically read about the latest case in which 6 ABVP students were "let off" free of charge, 3 years after they were caught on camera, beating up this old man. i was surprised to come across a whole page of news items in which ABVP activists were "later let off".

The nation saw what happened on TV with regard to the murder of this Professor. But like Varun Gandhi's recent hate speech, that video too might have been doctored. However these expert video-doctors were not able to 'doctor' some evidence to be able to have these students punished.

Sure they were let off. But that does not change the truth. The truth is well known to the judge who said "the prosecution failed miserably". The truth is not hidden from the general public worldwide.

I hope the BJP soon realises that 'divisive politics' is an outdated concept. They will just have to bring about a change in their DNA if they want to save themselves from extinction. But most importantly, they need to learn to respect the mobile phone camera. Manipulation of the truth is no longer child's play. Case in point: Varun Gandhi's hate speech. People in Pilibhit were mighty impressed. So far so good. But what they didn't see coming was how the whole nation (and the whole world) stood gasping at his and the BJPs audacity. That is something new and they were totally ill-prepared to handle it.

The death of Vellupillai Prabhakaran

2009-05-25T14:58:00.020+06:00

Is the fall of the LTTE leader a triumph of Sinhalas over Tamils?

Or is it the triumph of a nation over terrorism?

I know that the world over and in many parts of Sri Lanka, it is viewed as the former.

However, I personally like to see it as the latter.

As I see it there was one issue:

Issue number 1 - subjugation of Tamils in Sri Lanka

26 years ago, Prabhakaran stepped up and offered to sort out the issue but only ended up creating an additional issue making things worse.

Issue number 2 - terrorism converting the Serendib into an island of horror to foreigners

So now, we had 2 issues.

It was like giving cancer to a man complaining of a toothache, believing that the cancer would eventually cure the toothache.

Today, the government has after 26 years sorted out the second issue.

Now, it's up to the government and people of Sri Lanka, Tamils included, to rebuild on a foundation of equality and holistic patriotism rather than a Sinhala patriotism or a Tamil patriotism.

Hopefully, they will work towards the progress of the country which is only possible if the interests of every citizen is taken equal care of.

The government seems to have taken this route, what with the president delivering his speech in Tamil as well.

On Velupillai Prabhakaran:

Late Mr. Vellupilai Prabhakran's biggest mistake was to allow himself to get influenced by Marxist thinking. He saw virtue in resorting to violence.

He had a single minded strategy.

Scare them so much that they will listen to anything you want.

Rather simplistic don't you think? When he saw people failed to respond the way he expected, he steadily took the acts of terror up by few notches. That's all he did these last 26 years.

It never occurred to him to think of a different strategy.

Tamil children, boys and girls were snatched from their families to be taught to use weapons and to give up their lives to the cause of mass killings. Naturally, to get a person to agree to do something like this they would need to be brainwashed into a trance. They are denied the freedom to think otherwise. Needless to say, they were denied access to free information. (It would screw everything if you chanced upon the works of Mahatma Gandhi or Martin Luther King or developed personal ambitions right?)

No one dared to think of an alternate strategy. What about peaceful demonstrations? What about giving up on a 'separate eelam' and focus on 'equal rights, opportunity and prosperity of the Tamils'?

No. The LTTE raised 3 decades of Tamils on propaganda. Many Tamils the world over swallowed the justification for all the brutalities. They still do! Its alarming because nothing really justifies violence. And we are talking about downright brutalities here.

I am happy to be in Sri Lanka, witnessing one of its most historic events. Winning over terrorism that is.

As for what happens next, I choose to be optimistic for this beautiful island and ALL its lovely people.

PS: Just my opinion - I am a total 3rd party that happens to currently be in the country. Thats all.

Miss India 2009 was an unwanted girl-child

2009-05-14T10:21:00.008+06:00

The Miss India pageant this year refreshingly does more that just present oomphy women to movie directors looking for fresh talent.

This year, they live up to their history of upholding the 'woman of substance' once again.

Hurray!

Pantaloons Femina Miss India 2009, Pooja Chopra's mother Neera Chopra was forced to leave her home when Pooja was born. Her crime? Giving birth to a girl child for the second time in a row.

An infant in one hand, a toddler in the other, Neera arrived penniless in Mumbai. She was determined to provide for her babies, though it was hard to see how.

You can read their inspirational story here.

Today, Neera's older daughter has completed her BBA and is happily married. Her younger daughter, unwanted by her father and fathers family, has proven to the world that they and everybody else who have killed or abandoned their daughter made a BIG mistake.

Every child is special.

Inculcating intolerance in schools

2009-04-22T12:24:00.027+06:00

The RSS run schools in India publish things such as the following in their textbooks:

“Delhi’s Qutb Minar is even today famous in his (Qutbuddin Aibak’s) name. This had not been built by him. He could not have been able to build it. It was actually built by emperor Samudragupta. Its real name was Vishnu Stambha…. This Sultan actually got some parts of it demolished and its name was changed.”

Little, innocent minds are thus being sentenced to a life rife with the feeling of resentment and intolerance. (for no fault of theirs!!!)

Lets be careful which school we put our kids in. Unless you want your children to grow up into hate mongers.

I don't know how any parent would willingly allow such a thing to happen to their kid. Its a different matter if you have no choice.

I for one am sure I want my children to grow up to be compassionate, loving and happy and not hateful and restless with a readiness to partake in crime. (as long as it is directed to those from a different religious community)

You can read the whole article that appears in The Hindu here

PS: The RSS or the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh is a Hindu fundamentalist organization in India that are accused of harbouring fascist ideologies.

PPS: Thanks to KPJ for the link.

The toughest facebook quiz

2009-04-17T15:26:00.013+06:00

You would know if you are a facebook user. You can find out anything about yourself on Facebook.

From "which philosopher are you?" to "what colour is your aura?" to "what are you born to do?" to "which country is most suited for you?" to "what shoe are you?"

You can stop looking for a spello in that one. I wasn't exaggerating before - you can find out ANYTHING about yourself.

From time to time, I take a quiz for fun. More like a source of amusement. A stress-reliever.

I decided to check out "what kind of writer i was" even though knowing that you write like someone would reflect on a lack of originality. But, since i don't write for a profession(yet), I had nothing to worry about.

Or so I thought. Check out question number 1: (it almost made me quit writing altogether)

1.Which style of transmission do you prefer?

The poem

Short story

Manifold creative media

The play

The ripping yarn

The epic

The alienating

A novel in the moment

I wanted to throw my hand up in the air and plead "please spare me...i promise to never again dare to think I could answer questions about 'what kind of writer i am'.. forgive me for thinking its an easy thing to do."

So lost was I that I picked up the phone and dialled my husband's number hoping to get some help. We both began to laugh as I read out the question and the options to him. He said "why don't just write instead of taking silly quizzes about writing?"

Good question. I had no answer so I politely hung up. Post some careful pondering I stumbled through the quiz somehow. The result said "Shakespeare - the one and only". They never disappoint you - these facebook quizzes.

PS: No I did not choose "the play"

Prime Minister Who?

2009-04-08T09:41:00.007+05:00

A while ago I had written this post expressing my views against Narendra Modi as PM. You can read it and the debate that ensued here.

As a post script to that post I had mentioned that while I was shooting NM down, I wasn't sure who else to nominate because I don't know enough. But that we should at least NOT pick someone with a track record of spurring riots.

Yesterday I came across a blog post that helps me out with that one.

Amith Prabhu's post Why Manmohan Singh is the Man makes perfect sense to me.

I am so impressed with all his posts that I have included his blog on my rather exclusive blog roll. :)

PS: People are protesting that Tytler got a free chit. Well, that's all that Tytler got right? There are others who got chief ministership and possible prime ministership post similar apathy towards communal disharmony.

Does she...? (continued)

2009-04-07T09:46:00.011+05:00

Came across this post on India Uncut, one of favourite blogs. It is called 'groping indians' .It is interestingly relevant to my previous post.

The post led me to the link to "the black noise project".

A commendable initiative that gives voice to women who are taught to just put up with occasional groping and eve-teasing and to men who find this disgusting.

ps: found the above sign on their website

Does she turn you on?

2009-03-30T14:43:00.016+05:00

I have friends who would get turned on by her just by virtue of the fact that she is in a Burkha.

So, why again are women given directives as to how they must dress?

The bigger question is:

Why should a woman's respectability depend on her choice of clothing?

What is respect?

Some cultures forbid a woman from showing any part of her body because according to them only such women get "respect"

In other cultures, a display of arms, legs and the slightest of cleavage is forbidden for the same reason.

So much so, that a man's misbehaviour is often justified by saying that the woman was dressed provocatively.

But, who is to define what provokes evil? What turns on men? I know of men who find no appeal in women who reveal all. On the contrary the mystery of a Burkha drives them mad. Some get turned on by vulnerability. Others by brazenness.

No harm with getting turned on. But why should getting 'turned on' or 'turned off' get translated into disrespect for the woman?

So, in stead of preaching to a woman about her choice of clothing, how about preaching to men about respecting a women's personal choice.

How about making women feel comfortable in anything they want to wear?

Falling in Love

2009-02-13T15:01:00.013+05:00

The splendour of 'falling in love' far exceeds the splendour of 'being in love'.

Falling in love is the short-lived heavenly phase that precedes either love or heart-break.

Being in love is about warmth, goodness, trust and support.

Falling in love is about frequent rushes of sweet chemicals in your heart and mind. Making you feel dizzy with joy. Its when you feel you could die of anticipation. Its when at night, sweet fantasies help you drift to intoxicated sleep. It's when you could stay up all night and still not feel sleepy through the day.

This February I felt that beautiful feeling of falling in love again. Well almost. This time i felt it for a city.

While enjoying breakfast at Flurys, gazing at the magnificent fins in their aquarium and listening to the soft trickle of Bengali all around me, I knew that I was falling in love.

While looking forward to a cabaret at Trincas but settling for a pretty, well endowed woman, in a shimmering golden short dress singing. Yes, just singing. She was accompanied by a saxophonist and a pianist. Listening to the live music I felt like I was falling in love.

While watching the waiter at Peter Cat diligently split our order of Butter chicken 7 ways taking care that we all got a fair share, without making us look or feel small for not ordering for an extra helping, I knew I was falling in love.

While looking for loos at 'Someplace else' in a slightly tipsy state. You had to climb an entire flight of stairs to get to one. I was falling in love.

While having a chaiwala say to us "of which place are you the inhabitants off". Being used to only listening to hindi or bengali from that class of people, we didn't get him the first time. So, he repeated, "where are you from?" thinking that would be easier for us to comprehend. I felt that feeling again.

While he served us some nice tea, he told us how he had picked up English from here and there.

When we told him that the tea was really nice he said, "its your own goodness that has made the tea so nice"

Thats the kind of "depth" even a chaiwala in Kolkata alegedly displays! :)

While crossing the actual hawrah bridge. Something that as a child, I had learnt to create using a piece of string, the ends of which are tied together, strung between my fingers. I knew I was falling in love.

I wished I had visited this city before. But, it turns out that this was not my first visit to Kolkatta afterall. My mother said to me that she had been to Calcutta when she was carrying me.

Now, that's what I call a love story!

Happy Valentines day folks!

PS: Pictures to follow soon

Seeing things from 'both sides'

2009-01-16T14:03:00.005+05:00

This song by Joni Mitchell encompasses the essense of my blog.

a) You need to see things from both sides before begining to understand something

b) It's important to acknowledge that there's always lots that you still don't know

Here are the lyrics. Enjoy the song.

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air

And feathered canyons everywhere, I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun they rain and snow on everyone

So many things I would have done, but clouds got in my way I've looked at clouds from both sides now From up and down and still somehow

It's cloud's illusions I recall I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels the dizzy dancing way you feel

When every fairy tale comes real, I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show, you leave 'em laughin when you go

And if you care don't let them know, don't give yourself away I've looked at love from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It's love's illusions I recall I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud, to say, "I love you" right out loud

Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange they shake their heads, they say I've changed

But something's lost but something's gained in living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall I really don't know life at all

See it like the Spookfish!

2009-01-09T09:46:00.034+05:00

This morning I came across this news item on BBC about an interesting discovery. Then i did some googling on the subject and found this article. Since my blog is about "seeing things", this one deserves a mention here.

An excerpt from the article:

"In nearly 500 million years of vertebrate evolution, and many thousands of vertebrate species living and dead, this is the only one known to have solved the fundamental optical problem faced by all eyes — how to make an image — using a mirror," said Julian Partridge, a University of Bristol vision ecologist, in a press release.

Lenses are the most common optically refractive structure, but also absorb some of the light passing through them. Mirrors are more efficient, making the spookfish's eyes especially well-suited to its half-mile-deep Pacific haunts.

To know more about Spookfish also known as barreleyes click here.

Speak of seeing things clearly! :)

Simple pleasures in life

2009-01-04T17:59:00.013+05:00

Perfectly set jelly.

May your new year be full of simple pleasures!

Talking to animals

2008-12-29T18:55:00.017+05:00

I like animals. They have a certain element of vulnerability and honesty that draws me to them.

In fact, I always talk to cats and dogs when i happen to come across one. And i am positive, they listen and respond. Even though it makes my husband think I'm nuts. (There are a lot many reasons that make him think that anyway! :) )

I love squirrels and birds too but I never talked to them. I just don't get the feeling that they will get what I am saying. So, i just watch them helplessly unable to say hello.

A few days back, however, a crow came and spoke to me!

It sat on my balcony railing and went on cawing. It took me some time to realize that he was talking to me and not calling out to a fellow crow.

He said to me,

"I am really hungry. Would you have something to feed me?"

I got him and answered,

"sure will a slice of bread do?..wait a minute"

The crow gratefully watched me while i opened a loaf of bread and took out a slice.

It did not stir when I walked right beside it in the balcony. There was nothing to fear. We were talking and he knew that we were friends. I placed the slice of bread next to him.

He looked up at me and said,

"thanks! you are an angel"

With that, he took the slice in his beak and flew off.

What do you know? I can talk to crows too! :)

Would a different govt have protected us from this attack?

2008-12-01T09:18:00.004+05:00

The Mumbai attacks is going to prove costly to the government.

The irony is that this would have happened irrespective of whichever party formed the government.

In this case, the ruling party was lackadaisical. In other cases, they would have been busy pitting one Indian against another based on religion/caste/state etc.

Making it easier for terrorists to brainwash Indians to join/help them.

The irony is that there was no discrimination made regarding who suffered - those dead include the rich & famous, the poor & impoverished, Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jews, Parsis, malyalees, haryanwis , maharashtrians, punjabis, non-indians, ....

I look forward to a time when people choose their leaders for focusing on relevant things - such as democracy and security.

When people choose like that, politicians will alter their agendas. But for that people need a better education.

I wonder if certain politicians really want Indians to be educated. It will be harder for them to manipulate us then.

PS: Wiki says that the adult literacy rate in India is 61% while youth literacy rate is 73.3%. Literacy is only the starting point towards an education.

When this disaster ends...

2008-11-27T14:37:00.015+05:00

Hope our nation stays wise in the aftermath of this disaster. I hope we stay united. I hope the politicians too see their benefit in keeping us united. I hope the terrorists and the extremists don't succeed in their motives.

I hope. I hope. I hope

Here are two first hand accounts:

How a wedding reception turned into a life lesson

A night out in Mumbai

Narendra Modi for PM? - No Thanks!

2008-11-04T15:42:00.013+05:00

Some people think Narendra Modi should be India's PM. Here’s why I disagree.

Whatever arguments, one may have in favour of him, we need to face it - certain truths about him can not be brushed under the carpet. Let us clearly understand that those who support Modi are in fact in favour of everything he stands for.

1) Modi belongs to the tribe that subscribes to the belief system that works with a vision, towards a "hindu rashtra". Where Muslims and Christians and whoever else need to understand and accept their proper place in the system. (for “good” reason of course based on a few actual and a few doctored historic facts)

2) He is capable of stooping to inhuman levels for this. And he is capable of not feeling any remorse for the tragedy. He claims it to be a "natural reaction".

3) Modi is capable of and does in fact see qualities that are worth admiring in Hitler.

Gujrat will flourish even without Modi. The nation too, is and will continue to progress even without Modi. Development and progress is inevitable. We the people are making it happen. It would help if we weren’t distracted by forcefully induced communal tension.

Narendra Modi as PM would only confirm to the world that, we indeed are uneducated, unenlightened and easily manipulated as a people. And that the values mentioned in our Constitution doesn’t hold much weight with the most of us.

Bajrang Dal and VHP

2008-10-14T19:48:00.001+06:00

The Bajrang Dal and the VHP are an ugly BLOT on the Hindu community and Hinduisim.

Worse, they are a massive threat to the Indian Democracy.

And so is anyone who supports them

Read this NYT report: Hindu threat to christians: convert or flee

PS: this is why i dislike the world's preoccupation with religion

Do these ads offend you?

2008-09-17T17:02:00.008+06:00

Copy: Life is easier if you don't speak up. Sign-off: Debate

It did offend me, at first. Well, it was a mix of an offended feeling and of not seeing any sense in the ad.

As I saw it, the line "life is easier if you don't speak up" does not go with their tag line of "debate". I wondered how was one to have a debate without speaking up?

I found it plain rude and insensitive to ridicule the lives of these great men.

Until Mr. Amit Verma , through whose blog I came across this ad, pointed out to me that the ad was not making fun of but was glorifying them.

And then I saw it.

Through inverse portrayal, the ad actually emphasizes on the sacrifices these great men made. They could have lived the life portrayed but chose not to.

About the meat and beer, I doubt the Dutch team that made this ad were aware of the taboo associated with those. I think they simply wanted to portray these people enjoying a "good" life.

Suddenly, the ad became interesting and bold. It also made me realize that if the intention of the brand is to make you debate, this ad works.

However, I still don't like these ads. Call me irrational if you like :)

(Can't get over the first impression)

Recreating the Big Bang - in a lab

2008-09-10T10:19:00.035+06:00

Fascinating stuff.

A mini, scaled down version of the BIG BANG is being staged today by scientists at the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN), Switzerland.

The team hopes that recreating the explosion that created the world will show how the galaxy formed and how stars and planets came together. They also hope to unlock many puzzles in particle physics such as as dark matter and dark energy etc and to help us learn more about how the universe began.

Some scientists fear that this experiment might create black holes which could swallow up the earth. However, a safety review by scientists at CERN and in the United States and Russia, issued at the weekend, rejected the prospect of such outcomes.

Lets see. :)

CERN is credited with the creation of the world wide web in 1989 - the origins of this blog

The Big Bang is most probably the origin of you and me!

Whats common between Orissa and Gujarat?

2008-08-30T10:38:00.028+06:00

In both states certain Hindu mobs went on a mass rampage against non-Hindus in retaliation to a stray incident.

In both cases, nobody really knew about the real cause of the stray incident.

In both cases Hindu "mobs" were convinced about the cause and angered enough to systematically carry out attacks on non-Hindu groups for days.

In both cases the government being able to do little to curb it.

Both cases were called "spontaneous" reactions. I find it hard to believe that a spontaneous reaction could carry on for 5 days.

In Gujarat, few years ago, a mass massacre of innocents was carried out simply for being Muslim.

In Orissa innocent people are being subjugated just for being Christian.
read about it here.

Cats and Dogs

2008-08-28T11:43:00.004+06:00

I have witnessed many Cat Vs Dog debates.

Dogs are accused of requiring toilet-training/maintanance and praised for being man's loyal friend.

Cats are accused of being cunning and selfish and praised for being beautiful, cuddly and clean.

I am amongst those who loves them both. I have never really had any pets of my own. Except for the rather short-lived ventures with the odd street cat.

Yet, they have an amazing calming effect on me. Whenever I find myslef in proximity to one, I find myself talking to them. Believe it or not, I really get the sense that they understand me and reply in their own way, much to my husband's amusement. I guess it's becasue they respond to tones. They can recognize a loving tone or an angry tone or a questioning tone and even a sad tone. Well, I think they do.

Dogs and cats use their tails in opposite ways to communicate love and hate. A cat wagging its tail means it hates you. Its vise-versa with Dogs. Similary, Dogs hold their tails up to demonstrate hostility whereas a cat holding its tail up is a sign of friendship.

A cat needs you to look it straight in the eye and stare for as long as possible to establish mutual love and trust. Pretty much like when a man loves a woman. Dogs however, do that to intimidate so never stare into a dogs eyes. You will be heavily misunderstood. Just look at them with smiling eyes fleetingly.

Both love to be stroked/petted constantly. Both love company. Both love to play. Both love something to eat - anytime!

The ultimate reward a dog gives you is when it licks you and settles down near you. The ultimate reward a cat gives you is to purr and settle on your lap. You know that when a Dog or Cat does this with you, you have won it's heart for sure.

Its great fun!

Purple bracelets for a complaint free world

2008-08-21T12:41:00.010+06:00

So far, I had seen 'complaining' as a good outlet. I thought you feel better about a situation once you have complained about it.

But an interview I stumbled upon recently has made me decide to re-engineer myself a bit.

Turns out I was wrong. When complaining becomes a habit, you end up becoming a sad person since you only see the worst side of everything.

The surprising thing is that if you conciously make an effort to stop articulating your complaints, your mind stops creating them. You end up being happier - no matter what your circumstances are. You will be happier just the way things are.

Don't believe it? Well, there's only one way to find out. Try it.

Pastor Will Bowen, the man behind the idea, found that it takes 21 days to form a habit. So if you can hold-up not complaining for 21 days you get hooked to it!

To make things easier he deviced the purple bracelet method. You could try it out with any bracelet, I'm sure. I am giving it a shot without any bracelet.

This morning as I got into the office elevator, a colleague groaned "this is the slowest lift in the world" I immediatly pointed out the one-touch-controls in it and said "but it sure is high tech" We both laughed.

PS: Incase some of you are wondering what I was doing watching the Oprah Winfrey show. Well, I stopped to watch because I found the pastor extremely pleasing to look at. :)

Terrible, terrible dandruff!

2008-08-13T15:03:00.019+06:00

We see numerous shampoo ads claiming they can eliminate dandruff.

They talk of magic ingredients - lemon extracts, the famous ZPTO, mint etc that supposedly chase away dandruff.

Victims of dandruff such as I, in blissfull dreams of an itch-free scalp, see ourselves succumb to the lure of these enticing dandruff-combating brands. One after the other, we try out the never-ending string of variants/options.

But, I say, its high time someone got up and asked the question.

"Is there really a cure for dandruff?"

Why is it that you have to continously use anti-dandruff shampoo to keep dandruff at bay?

I have not come across anyone who once had dandruff. If you have dandruff you always will have it.

It also explains why shampoo brands invest so much in this segment.
Infact. it is profitable for dandruff shampoo brands to keep dandruff alive. (Have I just cracked a freakonomics kind of case? Why anti-dandruff shampoos would rather not cure your dandruff? I know. Not a patch on the freakonomics cases. :))

These shampoos can't be real cures because it doesn't make business sense for them to actually cure the dandruff and thereby not get purchased again. What makes business sense is to keep alive the hope of being free of dandruff.

As I see it, any good shampoo (anit-dandruff or not) makes your scalp clean for the moment. The immediate benefits makes you believe the claim of the anti-dandruff shampoo. However, when your scalp begins to itch in a few days, you tell yourself, "that shampoo had worked for me. I will use the same again" Until yet another anti dandruff shampoo ad gets your attention.

I did that for years. Now, I am begining to think its all a hoax.

The fact that there is such frenzy of anti-dandruff shampoos in the market* shows that the dandruff problem is only getting bigger.

It is an epidemic with no cure I'm afraid.

There must be a real cure. I just don't know of it.

I am now using a dandruff busting shampoo bar by LUSH. It smells horrible. Like tar. But LUSH on it's website says, "you'd rather smell of tar than have dandruff in your scalp"

Every other product of LUSH is an extravaganza of fragrance. Infact, thats one of their key selling points besides being handmade.

So, I see an honesty in their dandruff-busting shampoo. I have just used it twice. Can't say anything yet. But, my experience with some other LUSH products has been delightfull. So. lets see.

Meanwhile, do share with me your dandruff woes and what you think may be a good cure...
*True about India and Sri Lanka. Not aware about other markets

So no one told you life was gonna be this way...

2008-08-01T13:02:00.029+06:00

I often face opposition for my love of the series. And yet, my love for F.R.I.E.N.D.S only grows.

I did not jump on the bandwagon that downloaded all the episodes to see them in one go like other fans did. I preferred to catch the episodes on TV whenever I could, considering my erratic schedules. I did not see all the episodes in the right order.

But now, after 7 years of watching, I rarely come across an episode I haven’t seen. Whether I have seen it or not, I can't seem to tire of them.

Watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S almost feels like spending time with your own friends. An episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S ensures an uplift of my mood like nothing else can just like time spent with friends does.

Beneath all the comic situations, the series celebrates what friendship really is. The essence of 'friendship' can't be better captured than the way it is in the title song.

Sometimes you want to hide away from the world. Sometimes you want to hate everything. Sometimes you want to sulk for no reason. Sometimes you want to scream. Sometimes you want to crib. Sometimes you need someone to regard your whim as a life-altering need. Sometimes you want someone to sympathize with you when you think you have had the worst life. Sometimes you want to tell your story, the whole story. Sometimes, just sometimes you want someone to know your ugliest secret and still be your friend. Sometimes all you need is a good, long hug.

Real friends understand you at such times of unreasonableness.

I watch these 6 characters doing these things for each other in spite of themselves. It reminds me of the friends I have far and near and it helps me appreciate them better.

Friends are better than family. Friends are better than lovers.

So here's to being real friends! :)

PS: Nothing like it, when your family is your friend or your lover is also your friend.
The above picture is from the episode where Rachel impulsively realized she did not want to marry, only it was at the last minute (as is evident from her attire) and runs away to these friends for refuge.

"A war on the way we live"

2008-07-29T10:27:00.014+06:00

I came across this article thanks to Meraj and couldn't help nodding my head in agreement.

You can take a look at the write-up that appeared in the NewYorkTimes' after the recent bomb blasts that shook India here.
____________

The best way to endure pain is to enjoy it?

2008-07-21T15:25:00.014+06:00

A root canal treatment. My worst fear. It came true last week.

I never forgot my first visit to the dentist at the age of 6.

They assured me that it would just hurt as little as an ant bite.
a) I didn't consider an ant bite as painless and b) I didn't want to imagine an ant biting me inside my mouth!
I was shocked.

When I was 15 I read a poem written by Ogden Nash on the same, garbed in humour of course. You can read it below. I thought if a great poet could feel this way, my fears were perfectly justified.

Another time I had read somewhere that the worst pains of all was endured during childbirth. The second was on a dentist’s chair.

None of these accidental readings really helped me in my future visits to the dentist.

My terror of it only grew.

I did not mind the idea of getting rid of all my teeth once and for all and replacing them with dentures. Until someone told me that a tooth extraction hurts worstest!

Now I shall live the rest of my days in fear of the requirement of a tooth extraction. Great!
(I think I just heard the wisdom tooth in my mouth snicker. gulp!)

Anyway, last week I got a root canal treatment done and believe me it was not as bad as I envisioned it to be. Yes, the injection hurt. But its over in 10 seconds. After that you feel one side of your mouth swell up and droop to one side.

Relax! It only feels like that when a part of your face becomes numb.

Like Mr. Nash puts it in his poem, the thing about dental visits is that it is both physical and mental pain.

I would say it's more mental than physical.

I tried to alter my mental state by forcefully thinking that I enjoyed the scraping sounds in my mouth and the needle (or whatever it is) poking into my gums through my tooth.

No, that didn't work.

What works is to just shut your eyes and think about something else altogether to distract you. Like the next movie you would like to see or what you need to get done at work etc.

Here's the poem and all the best with your visits to the dentist. Meanwhile brush and floss daily.

THIS IS GOING TO HURT JUST A LITTLE BIT
One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.
And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopan.
Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest,
so hard to retain calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm,
So hard to give your ususal cheerful effect of benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity
And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on
And it is cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve on your head that aren't being irked on.
Oh some people are unfortunate to be worked on by thumbs,
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to being polished
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.
And the circumstances that adds to your terror
Is that it's all done with a mirror,
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,
But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you do when try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa
And then at last he says, That will be all, but it isn't because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something I suspect is generally used to put shine a horse's hoof,
And you totter to your feet and think, Well it's over now and after all it was only this once,
And he says come back in three monce.
And this O Fate, is I think the most vicious that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition
When the chief reason he wants his teeth to be in good condition is so that he won't have to go the dentist.

Bored?

2008-07-04T17:07:00.007+06:00

I don't understand why anyone should ever get bored.

There are so many things one can do.

You can read a book, write a book, draw, paint, stitch, learn to sing, learn to dance, learn pottery, paint a picture, paint a wall, watch TV, watch a movie, make a movie, take pictures, take a walk, watch children play, write a blog, watch a movie, make a movie, take pictures, make those phone calls you have been putting off for so long, write a letter to someone who would like to hear from you, send emails to friends, plant a tree, call on a friend, cook, bake a cake, iron clothes, learn origamy, dust the house, learn pottery, water the plants, get a plant if you don't have one, buy a present for someone you'd like to see smile, take a long bath, put on a face mask, play brainvita, sudoku, solve crosswords, if you can gather friends play chess or scrabbles or pictionary or monoply or knots and crosses or dumb charades, browse through toys in a toyshop, learn the lyrics of a song, read about your favourite musician, artist or philosopher, learn a poem by heart, re-arrange the furniture, think of a business idea, do yoga, learn to play a musical instrument, solve a nice big jigsaw puzzle...okay I have drained myself for the moment...but i can easily think of more...
I am sure you can too...

Here's one guy (two guys if you please) who never get bored... :)

Shoe to the rescue

2008-05-29T11:00:00.003+05:00

In a few hours I take a giant step right off my country into the emerald isle situated to the south of India. A few days ago I took another giant step. I got married.

It was beautiful. Marriage is beautiful, if you do it with the right person.

I have learnt that there is no fixed method to assess whether someone is right for you or not. Each of us is unique and we need to judge based on ourselves. It’s no use following romantic books and movies. But one rather simple way is the ‘happiness test’. Are you happy with each other?

I am happy and wish for every couple to be the same.

You will hear more from me next from Colombo where I shall be tentatively stationed for the next two years…

PS: i thought i woudn't have any time left to do this before we leave for the airport, but then his shoe strap broke and he had to step out to go get it repaired. Shoe to the rescue :)

MTV select

2008-03-12T17:10:00.009+05:00

Last evening, I stepped into the neigbourhood beauty parlour for what they term as a ‘powder trim’. What they do is to snip off your hair just at the tip. This helps get rid of split-ends without having to sacrifice on the length of your hair.
This parlor always has the TV on, usually playing some Hindi movie channel. Initially, I remember worrying if the ladies would pay justified attention to the waxing and preening they are supposed to be doing. But over time I gained confidence in them. I saw that they used the TV more like a radio. We customers got a glimpse of TV if possible. We have to crane our eyeballs, since we can’t usually move our heads when we are undergoing a session in threading.
That was the background. So yesterday, I heard a familiar voice on this TV. It felt like I had gone back 10 years. It was MTV select. The show where you got to speak to Nikhil Chinnapa on the phone and then select one song from the list of songs that scrolls along one edge of the screen.
I found a lot of things interesting at that point of time.
1) They were watching MTV. I thought MTV was reserved for the niche, super-urban youth, not a bunch of beauty parlour ladies – clearly things have changed
2) Nikhil Chinnapa was hosting the show, in the exact same way that he did when he first started out as a VJ on MTV!
a. I loved that show back then when I was 15. I even called them once and was thrilled to hear the MTV voice message. Though Nikhil never called back
b. I thought he was one of the hippest, coolest people on earth. I would have killed to get a chance to meet him and hang out with him
c. However 10 years have passed since. I have grown-up. Not into MTV that much anymore. Not into Nikhil Chinnapa and his numerous finger-rings anymore. (Definitely not after seeing his prowess at ragging poor MTV roadie aspirants)
3) How come Nikhil hasn’t grown in these past 10 years? I don’t see any development. He is the same with the same wise-cracks, the same style of dressing and so on…
4) Lastly, but most importantly, Nikhil’s conversation with one of his callers. He spoke in exactly the same way. But the caller had changed in the last 10 years. When asked who she would like to dedicate her sing to, she said “to myself”. Nikhil did not question that and went on to play the song.
a. Clearly a stark difference from the dedications callers made before - “parents, God, friends, that special friend who I can not name on TV…etc”
b. She was self-affirmed and not nervous to hear her voice on TV.

It was splendid!

The thing about ballerina shoes

2008-01-23T17:29:00.000+05:00

These returned into fashion a few months ago. Ever since I first saw them adorning the feet of some early adopters of trends in my office, I felt instantly in love with them. My eyes hungrily searched for them at shop windows just to catch a glimpse of the beauties. They used to be only available at a few stores on linking road, Bandra. Today, they are more commonly available

Whoever looked at a ballerina’s (dancer's) feet and thought of designing mainstream shoes along the same lines must have been in love with womankind. Ballerina shoes to me, celebrates womanly beauty. A woman has to just slip into these shoes to instantly feel like a princess. They simply fill me with glee.

The best part is that these shoes are so comfortable; it’s like walking on a bed of cotton. Usually anything that makes a woman look or feel beautiful is also uncomfortable or clumsy or inconvenient. But ballerina shoes are simply a class apart. An applaudable creation!

So impressed I am with them that it drew me away from the streets, (my otherwise favorite place to shop for footwear) to the swanky showrooms where they are available. Sure, they have started selling fake counterparts on the streets but that’s like comparing bread to pastries.

I have a feeling i am going to be seen in them, even long after they will have gone out of fashion.

Narendra Modi - protector of Hindutva?

2007-10-25T22:57:00.008+05:00

This is not an anti-Hindu post.
This is not a pro-Muslim post.
This is not a BJP vs Congress post.
This is about Narendra Modi and Hindutva

Please keep that in mind when leaving comments.

Now that I have cleared that, I want to ask all you people who are proud to be Hindu’s, are you also proud of the so called ‘protectors’ of Hinduism via 'hindutva'?

The Tehelka Exposure has left us in no doubt of the Gujrat Goverment's hand in orchestrating the cold blooded massacre in 2002. There is no room for debate on that front anymore.

Members of the VHP, Bajrand Dal and Shiv sena confess with pride their hand in the cold murder of Muslim men, women and children. They raped them, cut their limbs and burnt them. Just an instance: Babu Bajrangi, then VHP leader, current Shiv Sena Leader, brags that he ripped open the stomach of a pregnant woman.

I have grown up with an adequate exposure to the Ramayana, the Mahabharata and the Geeta. The amount any regular Hindu is exposed to in this country. I don’t think Hinduism professes cold murder of random people of other religions to retaliate against the acts of a few. Defenitely not in a torturous, brutal manner - rape, cutting limbs.

If the killings in Gujrat, are in accordance with Hinduism, I can’t be proud to be a Hindu.
Thankfully, they are not.

These killings are in accordance with the grotesque philosophies that guide certain politicians and their parties. These philosophies allow them to stoop to any level to suit their agenda. They manipulate facts to generate a hatred and xenophobia which subsequently allows them to kill in the name of God and later justify it.

What is sad is that the killers, blinded by a frenzy for blood, constantly repeated the name of ‘Sriram’. This is, to my eyes, no different from the Taliban. They too impose atrocities in the name of their God.

Any self-respecting Hindu can not possibly support Modi or the above-mentioned parties just like no self-respecting Muslim can support the Taliban or terrorsim. My heart will bleed for this country if Modi is elected to power again. Because he is damn good at polarising the state.

Supporting these parties (that use 'Hindutva' to supposedly protect Hinduism) is equivalent to supporting a pollution of Hinduism itself. Do you see the irony?

Innocence

2007-10-22T19:00:00.000+05:00

I remember some of the things I used to think when I was a child. It amazes me that I will never forget some of them.

I knew that the date changed everyday but the month continued for many days. I was not sure for how long. So if it’s August today it will still be August tomorrow and it was August yesterday as well. But if it’s Monday today it will change to something else tomorrow and was something else yesterday. I must have been around 3 at the time.

When my mother was carrying, I thought it was perfectly logical to assume I would have a baby sister simply because my mother herself had a younger sister. I was quite confused the day my brother was born. I had learnt something that day. I was 4 then.

My explanation of the radio was that there were little people inside the box.

I don’t remember if I truely believed in the existence of Fairies or Gods or Ghosts though i liked hearing stories about them. But I remember this. One day in school, when I was 8, a girl in my class told me of her realization that if you said the words “ram-ram” before you slept at night, you would have no nightmares. I found that interesting since the mantra i used to help avoid nightmares was quite different. I always had a nightmare on the days I forgot to say it before I slept. It was a prayer my grandmother had taught me:

“Alatoor hanumane…swapnam onnum katturde….swapnam vanaal…valittu thatti kaliyaname”

(Lord Hanuman of Alatoor….please don’t allow any nightmares…if nightmares do appear…please lash them out with your tail)

This classmate got away by just saying "ram-ram". How was that possible? I immediately concluded that it was all in the mind. It was not Alatoor Hanuman or Rama that was keeping the nightmares away, it was our own minds that was doing the trick. I stopped having nightmares on the days that I forgot to say my prayers. But I never forgot the prayers I learnt as a child.

Being positive

2007-09-25T13:59:00.000+05:00

A few days ago, it dawned on me that I had developed a tendency to indulge in an overdose of self-pity. Sure, my life for the last two years has not been going quite the way I had planned it. Also, living away from your family comes with its own share of hardships. Yet, things are not all that bad. The whether is lovely – I like the rains. I am constantly applauded at work. I am loved and respected. So, I told myself, “Pooja! stop fantasizing that you have reason for immense sorrow… things are just fine…” I decided to believe once again, that life is what you make of it. Well, of late, I had begun to succumb to believing that no matter how hard you try, life just takes the course it wishes to. But this last month I started afresh. I don’t know what caused it. But, it just happened. So, you are now reading the blog of a new Pooja who knows to be positive.

It’s often very funny. This morning for instance, I stepped out for work during a steady drizzle. Not exactly good news for my ballerina shoes and my beige trousers. Yet, I smiled. It’s a beautiful drizzle! The soft sound of the droplets falling on my umbrella filled me with an indescribable joy. Every time I saw a vehicle coming my way I would prance about to avoid the puddles from splashing on me. Once I was in my train, I just had to enjoy the delicious cool breeze and watch the raindrops against the vast backdrop of the city. I felt happy that I lived in Bandra and don’t have to endure crowded trains anymore. I marveled at how I have started counting my blessings. It was a wonderful feeling.

I reached Lower Parel station from where I take a short cut to my office. It’s a 15 minute walk through a partly tiled, partly muddy lane. I opened my umbrella with a smile and said to myself “think positive”. The first thing my eyes fall on is animal poop on one side of the tiled track, which had been stepped on by some poor soul and had become mushy in the rain. I looked away and tried to erase the picture from my “perfect” rainy morning. I started listening to the droplets once again. I watched the patent leather shine that the rain had rendered on everything – the leaves on the trees, the tiles on the ground etc, which had irregularly formed tiny, transparent pools of water on it. I had to walk through them. My ballerinas got soggy. But I continued to listen to the music the rain-drops created on my umbrella.

Soon I was in office. 5 minutes late. But what the heck! It was a beautiful journey to office.

A little more money

2007-09-05T16:08:00.000+05:00

If I had a little more money, I would :

buy myself a red Sony wiyo laptop.
buy myself a small car.
buy myself a few more ballerina shoes.
buy myself a microwave.
travel to Chennai on weekends to see my brother.
buy expensive hair-care products.
get a new portfolio shot.
buy a cupboard and a shoe rack.
move into a better apartment - one that has a watchman.
buy myself the entire set of Calvin and Hobbes, Tin-Tin and Astrix and all Roald Dahl's books for children.
buy myself all the cranberries albums and jazz music.

But if I had a little more money, would I still have wished for a little more money?

Due respect to the trash can

2007-08-31T12:29:00.000+05:00

I don't know how many of us follow these but i just want to provide a few tips to minimise wastage and maximise apt disposal of waste.

As thinking, aware people, I'm sure we care about both.

But, how many of us do our part? I for one, discovered the "print on both sides" option just a year ago thanks to a responsible colleague. Often, we take many copies of a document just to aid a discussion during meetings. post the meeting the hard copies become redundant as everyone is emailed soft copies of the same. All that paper gets junked while they mostly have a blank side, which could be put to use. There is only so much a trash can can take.

When it comes to waste disposal, again, how many of us really care? How many of us really think about whether the junk is bio-degradable or not? How many of us use separate dustbins at home for wet and dry garbage? Maintaining separate dustbins for the two is vital for effective waste managment.

Do you guys think about these things? If you have some tips to share... I'd be glad to know them.

Bridging the generation gap

2007-08-13T10:53:00.000+05:00

I was watching an interview with Javed Akhtar (famous script writer and lyricist in India) yesterday. His views on generation gap left a lasting impression on me. He says "The gap exists because of a lack of respect. Both ways. Parents have to realize and accept that their children (younger people) do know something that they don't. Likewise, children need to understand that their parents know something that they don't.
Once you realize this... you will feel the gap disappear."

My version of the same would be
"Parents, no matter how hard it is, have to realize inspite of their older age that the younger lot may know something that they don't. Children too, as have been rightly told for generations, need to understand that their parents know things that they don't. Once you realize this... you will feel the gap disappear. "

Enlightening don't you think?

An ode to the Devil

2007-07-30T15:34:00.000+05:00

The Devil is the pseudonym of this gentleman who is solely responsible for making my blog look hugely popular. For those who didn’t notice, check out the 42 comments on my previous entry. (ahem!)

Most of the comments are as verbose as the blog entry itself.

What’s more interesting is that they are all almost unconnected to the main subject of my entry!

And with each comment he seemed to veer my blog entry into a brand-new direction.

From ‘the joke in stereotypes’, he took it to ‘Muslim bashing.’ I still have not understood why. He typed and he typed and he typed to explain why but it made no sense to me atall.

While ‘Muslim bashing’ he touched upon ‘my questionable upbringing.’

From there he leapfrogged to ‘India’s struggle for freedom’ I found that amusing. Considering, he is a typical exhibition of the long-lasting effects of the 'divide and rule' strategy adopted by the British Empire in their attempt to keep their hold on India.

From there he went on to discuss ‘Gandhians being cowards.’

I find this so delightfully entertaining that I wrote a poem on him:

The Devil has been busy in his chambers
Stirring in a large cauldron
A sickening soup of words

On a constant prowl
For blogs that howl
As he pours over them his thick-thick soup

Stereotypes make perfect sense to him
Mainly when it makes charges on a Muslim

“Gandhi only taught us to be cowards”
He says with another swoop of his ladle

Drooling, the Devil
Yanked out the “non”
Leaving only “Violence”
To carelessly melt into his soup

How long will he go on
Convoluting the truth
And pour out a soup
that sure is dear only to The Devil

The joke in stereotypes

2007-07-06T11:11:00.000+05:00

I often come across people who form opinions about people based on stereotypes. I have always campaigned against it. However, many continue to adamantly stick to their opinions.

Women can not be interested in sports
Blonds are dumb
Sardar ji’s are fools
Muslims have a natural inclination to become terrorists
People from Bihar lack culture
Gujrati’s are misers

There are many more that one can think of.
While all these stereotypes are based on certain facts and perhaps figures. It still doesn’t make sense to judge an individual based on the colour of his/her hair or the country of his/her origin.

One must judge a person for what he/she is.

I know most of the readers of this post are in agreement with me but I’m truly disheartened by the number of people who allow themselves to get swayed by such stereotypes.

Here’s the joke:
As part of my job, I had to attend a few focus group discussions of late. In every group, one typically finds a smart guy who knows more than the rest and speaks better than the rest. Comically, in both the groups we did one after the other, this person was a sardar.
Post the group, we had a good laugh about how, contrary to popular perception it was the Sardar that emerged to be smart one.

It made me think about the meaninglessness of stereotypes. They are good for a few jokes that’s all!

Like a friend once pointed out that I can never be included in a Hockey team. No, not because I am a woman but because I am a malyalee. The minute I get a corner I might set up a tea shop there.

Talking to a recorded voice

2007-06-26T15:54:00.000+05:00

I don’t know about other phone services but I have experienced the HDFC's phone banking system and I’ve learnt that it is not designed for the ordinary. No weak hearted, short tempered or impatient man can handle it. It is designed for only those who, lets just say, HAVE it in them.

For the uninitiated, it starts with this long welcome speech at the end of which it says “press star to continue” Now, why would anyone hold on to the phone and listen to a long welcome message in 2 languages if he/she did not wish to continue!!!??

Anyway, you press “star”. You hear the mechanical voice list out a menu of options. In this set of options, strangely there is no option that leads you to talk to an executive. So, if that’s the motive behind your call, you’d be flummoxed. To make matters more trying, the 3 options that go like this

“for information on your account dial…”,
“for mutual fund transactions dial…”
“for information on loan products dial…”

does not tell you, for instance, what you should do if you want to pay bills.

So, you’d give up or you’d use the theory of elimination and choose the first option.

Further, the numbers that need to be dialed to avail the options are bizarre unconnected numbers. “If you want to continue in English press zero three…” and so on. ‘Zero three’ is like this specially crafted password. If you don’t hear it the first time you logically press 1 since it is the first on the list of options and get slapped with a “Sorry…..” The call gets cut. Some of you will decide, ‘okay lets not get upset’. You take a deep breath and redial.

“Welcome to HDFC’s phone banking service HDFC ki phone banking service mein aapka swaagat hai press * to continue aage badne kay liye * dabaein…”

You have to then press ‘star’ again as they would still want to know if you wished to continue. It is quite possible that you stumbled upon this spider web of a recorded call by mistake. At least, the designers of the message think so.

You finally learn that if you listen to “information about your account” irrespective of whether you are interested in knowing it, they present you, at the end of it, the option of “for any other transaction press…” Viola!! And you hear the golden words “for bill payment…”

It doesn’t end here; you still have to type in your customer identification number and your telelohone identification number which is followed by a long message which says this:

“If your account number is __________________press ____ “
“for any other account number press____“

Now an account number is usually a 13 digit number….you often know that it is not your account number after hearing the first digit itself but still have to helplessly listen to the WHOLE dragging message before you know what you need to do.

Yes. After 15 minutes of trial and errors, you do manage to pay your bills but still it doesn’t quite go with HDFC's tag line of “we understand your world”

A few simple modifications is all it will take to do the trick - I wonder why they havn't thought of it.

2007-06-18T13:20:00.000+05:00

This is an ode to all those fellow human beings who are bestowed with a name that is common. I would call these names popular instead of common. That’s what made these names common in the first place.

My name is one such name in India.

If you threw an orange out of your window and it landed on someone's head who is female, it is likely that her name would be Pooja.

The name transcends the various regions of this vast country. It also transcends the social and economic status in this country known for its economic disparities.

Today, the receptionist at my office informed me that “Pooja wants you to urgently call her back” now such a statement made to anyone in the country is sure to arouse the question “which Pooja?” because, any given person in this country personally knows at least 3 Poojas. My receptionist had carelessly assumed that the given information would be sufficient. She didn't find it peculiar that she happened to be handing over the information to another Pooja. (we could blame her busy schedule)

The confusion took a long time to clear. The firm from which this Pooja called our office had two Poojas working for them. Neither am I the only Pooja in my office.

This experience really pushed the boundaries of the numerous crazy experiences I have had with my name.

I once got the opportunity to travel to a far off land high up in north India in a small village called Pooh. I was highly fascinated by this whole new ethnicity I was being exposed to, just 12 Km from the Chinese border. Totally amazing lifestyle - one of hardship and simplicity and yet of prosperity owing to the apple orchards they owned. I meet this rosy cheeked little doll of a child and asked her her name expecting it to be as exotic as the place she hailed from. “pooja” she replied coyly. I had no words.

There was one time, in the 90's when 'Pooja' was the favorite on-screen name of almost every actress in Hindi cinema. And a character with the name usually embodied all qualities of an ideal Indian lady - virtuous, beautiful and vulnerable. In Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Kareena Kapoor put this to an end once and for all. If you have seen the movie or heard of it, you’d know what I mean. But the name continues to haunt you everywhere you go in the country.

But let’s not allow that to dilute the beauty of the name. It means ‘prayer’. It connotes hope, faith and goodness. I like my name though it would have been great (and a lot less confusing) if it was unique to me.

Speaking of the weather...

2007-06-18T09:39:00.000+05:00

They say, when people have nothing to talk about, a discussion about the weather always works as an effective means of rescue. So, this post might seem like I’ve gone for the last resort after not knowing what to write about next. But then again, the weather these days deserves to be talked about.

I got caught in the rains the first time it poured quite unexpectedly in Bandra, almost a month ago. I was crossing the road to go to Shopper’s Stop to buy something urgently. That was the moment the sky Gods decided to unleash the rain-tap in full throttle. So when I walked into Shopper’s Stop everyone was surprised to see this thoroughly drenched girl, dripping all over, looking for the cosmetics counter. I ventured to confirm their guess, ‘it is raining outside….it just started all of a sudden!’.
One man announced “you are lucky! You have been caught in the first rains”

When I stepped back out, I experienced a wave of joy that had overcome everyone from street urchins to chai waalas to shopper’s stop shoppers. But somehow, I did not feel that joy, in spite of the respite this provided from the scorching heat. I was worried about my Hidesign leather bag that I had paid for with my own money. I was worried about my cell phone in my pocket. I was worried about my hair.

Yet, yesterday, as I watched the rain drops from my window, I fell in love. There is something magical about the rains. It is one of those wonders of nature that makes you feel humble. They look so beautiful as they splash on the ground. I fell in love with this world, with nature, with life for filling me with so much joy!

How, I wish I could free myself from worrying about musty washed clothes and curtains, about rusted cell phones and damaged leather bags, squishy footwear and dirt splashed on my trousers. Well, for starters I bought this really large umbrella - and I mean large. It opens to 2 feet in diameter. One of my friends suggested I use it as a garden umbrella on sunny days. Not a bad idea at all.

King of None

2007-05-31T14:38:00.000+05:00

I am 24 years old and one thing peculiar about me is that I want to do a lot of things in life. Meaning I am not able to focus on any one activity that I want to pursue. Probably, it is because I have no real talent. I can sing informally at a party. I can dance in a group. I write. I paint once in a while - whether they are good work is of course open to interpretation. Can’t say I set the sets on fire but I act, I model and I can walk the ramp. I can be a strategic planner.

Why I say that I don’t have real talent is that I don’t excel at any of these things.

The reason for that, as one wise, old sage (he’s only 30 but behaves like he is no less than a wise old sage) pointed out is that I am scatter brained. I don’t have the ability to focus on what I want. Well, that causes me to believe that I don’t know what I want in the first place. What I do know is that I love to dabble in ALL these things.

And there is more I want to do! I want to learn Spanish... I want to learn to play the guitar…i want to learn pottery...

Guess I'll have to settle for being king at none.

Why I smile

2007-04-27T17:30:00.000+05:00

People have always pointed out to me that I smile all the time. Two days ago a trainee in my office declared that he had come with a name for me – smiley queen. I had heard that before. There are others who call me smiley. My earliest memories of being told that I have a smiling face was when I was around 7 - I don’t remember. I’ve been trying to analyze this. Why do I keep smiling? I think it’s more of an involuntary action. Most of the time, I don’t realize that I’m smilinCome to think of it, perhaps various experiences during the course of my life reinstated this obviously pleasing habit. Another episode was when I went abroad for the first time in 2001. We landed in JFK airport and one of the first things I noticed at the airport besides all the white skin, blond hair and blue eyes was that everyone smiled at one another. One could argue that these smiles are superficial but they made me happy nonetheless.

Once I read this ‘chicken soup for the soul’ type of story about how once a smiling face in a crowd got me smiling and my smiling face made someone else smile and soon the whole crowd was smiling and so on…and how soon the world was smiling. I know – very “chicken soupy” but I like the idea of spreading smiles in the world just by smiling at someone in front of you.

Also, it is the positive rub-off I get from smiling at everyone that may have re-established the habit. To me, it is the easiest way to get by life. It helps to have people on your side. And when you smile at them it means the following: I accept you. I understand you. I like you. It automatically generates a positive feeling. It makes the person being smiled at feel happy. It makes him/her fond of the smiling person. Being popular never hurt anyone. Did it?

Well, that’s my self psychoanalysis of why I smile.

Now I wonder why some people don’t smile. Why do some people hold their noses up in the air? Why do some people constantly look angry/irritated? How does that help them? Do they prefer being intimidating and unpopular? Do they like driving away people?

There has to be a similar psychoanalysis for them too. What is their thinking?

High and (al)mighty

2007-03-21T17:45:00.000+05:00

Is worship your way of connecting to God or your way of feeling superior amongst fellow people? Let me tell you why this question rose in my mind.

Yesterday, my uncle who came to town offered to take me to the temple. I love visiting places of worship. Not because God resides there but because peace and serenity live there. It has a calming effect and makes you think clearly. It helps you dispense negative feeling and leaves you purified. I have never interacted with God. I have no reason to place my faith in Him. I would rather credit these wonderful effects to the overall goodness that often exists amongst people within places of worship. Anyway, I happily agreed to join him to the temple.

However, soon I got a call regarding an early morning assignment because of which I needed to cancel the plan. So when he called immediately after to give me directions, I politely tried to refuse. But his self-righteousness got the better of him. Foe some reason, he felt he had the right to overlook all other factors and assume an authoritative position.

He took it upon himself to be offended on God’s behalf. If God really existed and had He really been disappointed, one should leave it to Him to teach me a lesson. However people like my uncle think it best to save God the trouble and take it upon themselves to have the honour.

My uncle asked me, “Why? We are going to the temple…” If you read between the lines, what he really meant was, “What was that? Did you not hear me? I think I said we were going to the TEMPLE! Did you just dare to make excuses to avoid that?”
To which I replied, “I know but I just got a call from the photographer that I need to report at 7 am at Andheri…it’s already 9 pm. I was hoping to just hit the bed straight away”
He seemed to not hear what I said at all. He was temporarily possessed by the feeling of being a demigod. “uhm…you come anyway”. I was shocked to say the least. I am a grown, self-sustaining adult. My own parents stopped demanding things of me years ago. Otherwise, he is a nice uncle and usually takes me out to nice dinners and things when he is in town. So, I quietly obliged.

It’s interesting how a religious man/woman feels superior to anyone who does not appear to be as religious.

It happens everywhere amongst religious people. They love boasting about the amount of effort, time and money they put into worship. Those that don’t do as much also feel guilty and grant the other the right to be superior. This uncle is representative of such people. They take pride in relating to all and sundry, the number of temples they have visited in the country and the hills they have climbed for the purpose etc. They even look down upon people who don’t.

Very few really pray for themselves. But my point really is how do educated people still believe in religious rituals. How does one blend the theories of science with that of myth and religion in one’s mind? Are they just seeking security in following the herd?

The story of my pet lizard

2007-03-14T12:11:00.000+05:00

I’m not a typical lizard lover. I only find them the most tolerable of house insects/reptiles because they are considerate enough to stay on the ceiling or high up on walls. They don’t come in the way of regular human activity. My feeling for lizards is as distant as that. Yet, I managed to call one my pet. Notice how I say ‘call’ one my pet as opposed to make one my pet. I can’t imagine a lizard-man relationship grow any further than that. I can’t train it to fetch me stuff or shake hands with me. But there was something this lizard did for me. It killed cockroaches.

I can’t stand cockroaches. I have not been able to or don’t want to understand the significance of the cockroach in maintaining ecological balance. I wish they just became extinct. I can’t look at a cockroach. I find it difficult to even kill them. Few will understand the mental torment I went through every time I saw one crawling in my house. I had read somewhere that one cockroach you see outside is indicative of a 100 lurking in various dark corners. It also means that this one already has or is going to lay eggs in places hard to monitor. So, much as I hated it, I’d have to kill it.

I lived alone in a rented studio apartment. So at times like this I had no one to pass the buck to. It would be comical to watch me with a secret camera at times like that. I would pick the broom and from as far as possible chase it till it was dead. Screaming myself throughout and then let out another, final scream of disgust as it dies, my eyes welling up with tears.

I believed in minimal furniture. So my mattresses were on the floor. I was terrorized at the prospect of a cockroach crawling over me when I am asleep.

Everyday, when I returned home from work and turned the kitchen light on, I would hear loud lizard steps as it raced out of the window. I would often even catch a glimpse of the massive creature. It was huge for a lizard. It had probably been feeding on cockroaches in this apartment for years. Interestingly, it never came in sight when I was home. Infact, it crawled out of the window once I was home. It stayed out of my house, while I was at home. I instantly fell in love with the lizard. It probably crawled all over my house wiping away all insects while I was away. So, the lizard actually got to live in the house longer than me since I spent very few waking hours at home.

Yesterday, I moved out. I did the packing and moving all by myself. Packing the refrigerator was a task. I had to wrap bubble paper all around it and tape it up. As I shifted the fridge away from the wall, I felt this stench. I couldn’t decide what it was, wondered if it came from outside. But as I shifted the fridge a little more, I saw it - a rotting corpse of an enormous lizard. I let out a shriek. Hot tears rolled down at the shock of the rotten sight, at the thought of going through all this toil and torment all alone. At the thought that I may have accidentally killed my pet when I used Baygon spray rather generously a few days ago.

Freedom Matters

2007-03-12T11:38:00.000+05:00

Recently one of my posts managed to churn out a lot of strong comments. The post was on my views about the comedian who lampooned Mahatma Gandhi and put it up on Utube for the world to see and laugh (!).

All my posts so far dwell mostly on Indian sentiments (my immediate surrounding) but people across the globe spoke up on this one. I had broached upon something that is a universal, timeless concern across countries, religions, age-groups etc. I had attacked the freedom of speech.

Nobody can deny the importance of freedom. Millions have and continue to martyr themselves for the cause.

The lack of freedom has been grounds for divorce. Lack of freedom causes children to rebel.

And yet, those who have it tend to take it completely for granted. They forget to take what comes with freedom - responsibility.

Adolescents who start drugging, spouses who cheat, cartoonists that disregard religious sentiments, comedians that disregard nationalist sentiments etc are examples of people who misuse their freedom.

So, while we campaign for the importance of freedom, we must, in the same breath talk about the significance of responsibility. Freedom means responsibility.

The autorikshaw drivers of Mumbai

2007-01-17T10:30:00.000+05:00

Wrote this 2 yrs ago but still holds relevance

Auto Rickshaw drivers. By my self-imposed standards I can’t afford to meet one everyday. I usually use the cheaper and faster means of transport – the local trains.
But then there are long days at the end of which all you want to do is jump on to something that will take you straight to your doorstep. Then there are days when you wake up feeling groggy and simply don’t have the energy to clamber on to a crowded train to get to office. On those days I get to interact with Autorikshaw drivers.
You can never allow your mind to wander off, not for one minute when alone on a rickshaw. Because they are reckless drivers and sworn to take you through the most complicated route possible. Of course, this maximizes chances of getting lost but then that’s the idea. This naturally is followed by constantly having to stop by passer-bys (they prefer the ignorant looking ones) for directions. Until they’re satisfied. Then they take you straight to your destination. By now, of course the meter displays an amount 3 times what it normally should take to get there.
Commuters are accustomed to this. When they don’t care about the money they just let the auto driver take his favourite course as long as they get you home. But when they do care they are on a constant watch out, “HELLO?!…. BHAI SAHAB!!!… yahan left lijiye…!”.(hello?! Mister!!! Take the left here!) And there are the poor souls like me who are ‘directionally’ challenged. In other words, I have to put in more than the normal amount of effort to remember directions.
So, on an auto I’m doomed. Even if I do manage to constantly point out the right directions to him, by the end of it I’m mentally exhausted.
Anyway, now after months of tracking the same route, it has got imprinted on my mind. I can afford to think about other things from time to time during the journey.
But my focus continues to be on the autorikshaw drivers. I find myself wondering, “is he feigning stupidity or am I being too harsh on the poor fellow?” They are irrepressibly irritating all the same. Sometimes they pretend to be deaf. They hear ‘Bandra’ as ‘Parla’. At other times they pretend they lack certain speech skills. They mumble something crucial. By the time you puzzle it out he’s already missed the fly-over.
But I occasionally meet the smart, sincere auto guy. They fill me with joy. Right from the time you tell them your destination they give you the feeling of being taken care of. They will ask you “’highway’ se ki ‘subway’ se?” (From the highway or through the subway?) If you can’t decide he’ll further help “subway mein traffic bohot hoga…” (There will be a lot of traffic in the subway…)

Often these pleasing set of auto rickshaw drivers provide you with interesting information on the way:

“Gadiyon ke beech mein 8 m ka faraq hona chahiye. Lekin aisa karo tho peeche se gaadi marti hai” (there should ideally be an 8 m gap between vehicles but if you maintain that the vehicle hits you from behind…)

“Yahan bheed hai kyunki aaj Saifee Trust Hospital inaugration hai…bohot bada hospital hai..pradhan mantri aa rahe hai” (the Saifee Trust Hsospital is being inaugurated today. That’s what the crowd has gathered for. The prime minister shall be attending)

“Mangal Pandey ka intezaar hai bas. Aamir ne badi mooch rakhi hai uske role ke liye” (I am just waiting for Mangal Pandey to release. Aamir khan has grown a big mustache for the role)

This other Rikshaw driver felt curious about how an ATM works. He did have an idea but wanted to clarify with me as I had asked him to wait while I withdrew money from my ATM.
It impresses me to see how the common man keeps himself abreast with information. So if you think about it, the auto`rikshaw driver is representative of people by and large – the stupid, the crafty, the sincere and the eager to know.

How would Gandhiji react to the offensive video that mocks him?

2007-01-15T17:50:00.000+05:00

As I sat surfing channels idly few days ago, I stopped at a visual I didn't want to believe. It was news of a man (of Indian origin) making a mockery of Mahatma Gandhi.

Yes the news stated that the video had created a national outrage and that the maker was asked to make a public apology. But it worried me nonetheless.

There are too many people in our country today who are ignorant (or have forgotten what they learnt in history lessons in school) about India's struggle for freedom. They don't know that this lanky, bald old man was named the "father of the nation”. Even if they did their limited minds don't feel curious as to why a weak-looking old man with scanty clothes would be given such a huge status. It worried me that such people may actually find this video extremely funny. They may watch it repeatedly and laugh repeatedly.

That aside, here's the lensewiping part: I exclaimed to my friends that I could shoot Gautham Prasad (the guy who made the film) dead! My friends were quick to point out that I was defying Gandhi ji by saying that.

It got me thinking. How would Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi have reacted had he seen this film? Some help from Mr. Rajkumar Hirani (the maker of ‘lagey raho munna bhai’) would be welcome here.

I think he'd have laughed and congratulated Gautam Prasad for his talent. He would however have expressed his concern about the talent being misused. He would have advised the lad to use his talents to earn the dignity he deserves rather than go down history for being foolish.

Who is Gautham Prasad? While the I&B minister is ready to take action against the news channels and youtube nobody seems to be catching the guy responsible for making the offensive film. Even the media has provided no further information on the boy other than the fact that he is an NRI comedian in the US and that his name is Gautham Prasad.

If these facts are right, then I’m guessing that Gautham is leading a real tough life in the US. Considering that he is a comedian who is struggling to be funny. So much so that he decided to upload a film of himself "being funny" on youtube. But again, he ended up goofing up miserably. I feel sorry for him. I don't mean to mock him. I am genuinely concerned for the chap. I think he should shift careers. Maybe he'll do better as a pizza delivery guy or a taxi driver.

It’s an art to use famous people to be genuinely funny. Take Jay Leno for example. He is sardonic but never offensive.

Well, I hope Gautham Prasad the very best in life. I hope he doesn't face too many hateful glares. I hope for him that someday he will be able to live up to his designation.

Expanding Hill Road

2007-01-11T17:06:00.000+05:00

No one seems happy about it? Think again.

The news of the expansion of Hill Road in Mumbai created turbulence among all concerned. Hill road is basically a shopping area- more from street hawkers who sell everything from sports wear, party gowns, lingerie, trinkets, footwear, kitchen ware/cutlery….you name it! It also houses 100 yr old bungalows, a church and a school. The shop owners and the bungalow owners seem to have sadly swallowed the truth. But the school alumni and church goers have sustained their protests. They don’t see the requirement of a road exapansion that will eat into the children’s playground. They don’t want to spoil the face of hill road – there’s much nostalgia associated with it.

I live in the vicinity and have to face the inconvenience of taking the longer route to my home since Hill road remains dug-up and closed to means of transport. As I walk down the road, all I would hear was people complaining about the situation. Once I heard someone say it’s going to take a year to be done! Now I really hoped this was not true but alas. It’s been 3 months and half of Hill road remains un-operational allowing only 1 –way traffic.

No one seems happy about the decision. Or so i thought.

Few days back I found myself in a rikshaw on hill road moving at the pace of a snail in the 1-way traffic. Since I had stopped (out of no choice) I thought I might as well smell the flowers. (As the proverb goes “sometimes you should stop and smell the flowers”) That’s when my lens got wiped.

I see that the street hawkers who otherwise have to stay crammed along the footpath now had the entire half of the road (the non-operational part). They had more display space and the shoppers could shop in peace without watching out for vehicles passing by and without bumping into one another. It made me think, “these hawkers probably wish for the road to remain in a state of flux for as long as possible”. Further down I see street kids enjoy cricket on the same stretch of non-usable road. A perfect playground! No one to stop them since they are coming in the way of no one. Street children love to play same as any other children but they rarely get the space or the resources. So this was their blessing in disguise.

Blessing for some nuisance for others. Well, that’s what you’d call irony!

Ready for Ambush

2007-01-08T17:36:00.000+05:00

About crime, society and 24x7 news channels

There are various layers of crimes that we as a country need to deal with. One layer emanates from the coalition of special interests as described by Bimal Jalan in “The Future of India”. Political leaders gained, and are still gaining from their control over the resources of the public sector enterprises. Workers in the organized sector gained from the political patronage enjoyed by them. Bureaucrats gained from the opportunities for corruption at various levels. Private sector entrepreneurs and contractors gained from their ability to influence government decisions in their favour. The evils sustained due to this include poverty, illiteracy, female oppression, corruption, etc. These can be attributed to the result of the myopic self-interests of certain people in power. The harm caused to the nation in turn is not a desired outcome but an inevitable side-effect.

Another layer of crime is the kind of crime that is caused by misguided individuals. These criminals are the victims of a lack of a proper education; and a lack of emotional and mental nourishment. This is usually topped with the belief of being powerful enough to get away with it or brave enough to risk it etc. These crimes include rape and murder. Such crimes can only be cured through the upliftment of the under-privileged who don’t get access to the right kind of values and opportunities. In other cases it requires an improved facilitation of counseling and emotional nourishment. Also the possible victims need to be aware of lurking dangers and need to strengthen their individual self-defense mechanisms.

A third layer is the kind where individuals turn cynical of the ways of the world and device their own methods to make money – illegal trade, smuggling, drug peddling etc. They work in an organized structure, follow hierarchy and even have rules – very different from those laid out by the law of the country. These people though misguided due to the lack of the right kind of education and timely counseling have high IQs. Their intelligence is effectively channelised into designing their own systems while escaping from legal systems.

But when you hear that an organized group of people in tandem with the authorities employ an absolutely heinous crime to feed their stomachs and live in luxury, it is hard to fathom. How can there be a large collection of people who can share a consensus on a crime which involves sexual assault, murder and organ trade of little children? How can a large group of individuals sleep peacefully and enjoy the money earned from the mass, brutal murder of little children? Don’t the innocent voices echo in their minds? Don’t their possible screams disrupt their sleep? One can explain the activities of one man with a personality disorder. But the revelation that he convinced so many to be partners in crime makes me wonder about the extent of personality disorders that thrives.

What convinced the rest? Could it be fear? Could it be the greed for money?

What does this say about the society we live in? People allow fear to take-over their conscience. Worse, they allow greed to take over their conscience. All this in a society that is deep-rooted in religion and the love for God. Is all this loud playing of religious songs on the streets at the drop of a hat, just a farce?

I am afraid that I know very few people who will stand their ground when faced with an ethical crisis. If you knew that some powerful, dangerous people indulge in such activity in your neighborhood, would you stay mum to protect your own life and family or would you stand up to what your conscience tells you? Tough one.

Well, I for one am thankful for the proliferation of technology advancement leading to enhanced connectivity. I feel safe that there are a thousand news channels hungry for a good story to air all day. I personally feel happy that they are the common man’s effective arms against injustice and crime. Everybody curses the content on 24hr news channels and that there are so many of them! But that’s exactly why there will always be room for my story should the need arise.

We don’t need to be afraid anymore! We can quit apathy. We can wake up to realizing that in some way or the other, the lives of the victims of injustice are connected to ours. We no-longer need to derive satisfaction from mumbling to ourselves that it’s a bad world out there. We can actually do our part in changing it.

The Colour Blue

2006-12-28T17:40:00.000+05:00

Growing Up
Somewhere in my teens I, like all youngsters, subconsciously began to look for mnemonics to express my individuality, my mind, my philosophy. To somehow reach out to a larger reality that exists somewhere out there, amidst those of similar tastes.
The music bands I worship the clothes I adorn, the books I read all go into the mnemonic set. One such thing was the colour blue. I like blue. I hate pink.
Blue is cool, youthful, classic, intelligent, happy. Pink is blond, baby, stupid, frivolous. So, if I saw any woman wearing pink, particularly baby pink, I was ready to judge her – silly woman. She does not belong to my larger reality. If I found a man in pink I was ready to shoot him down!
When I went out on a date I never missed on telling my admirer about my dislike for the dim-witted colour. Some men immediately fell further for me just for that quality – they ofcourse belonged to my larger truth. And others found the prejudice rather fascinating. I would explain to them the logic of it.
Not once did I meet someone who frankly told me that personalities have nothing to do with the colour that suits you! Not one who thought I was being pseudo intellectual. Either because none of them was intellectual enough to follow that or because they doubted them selves owing to the authority with which I spoke.
I am happy that somewhere through the years I grew to be unprejudiced. And I belong to the fortunate few. Well, owing to some, let's say unpleasant experiences - some people who nearly bathed in blue turned out to be downright stupid, immature, insecure. I found women who predominantly loved pink as being caring and intelligent. Clearly I was being stupid.
I learnt to depend on nothing but personal interaction to judge someone. And today I only crave the company of those elevated individuals who can see through all of that and appreciate people and things with an open mind. Amidst those of similar philosophies.